SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages

   Is it a zit or is it a 3rd nipple growing on my face. This is one of those wait & see moments people.

   It's taken me this long to realize "Eurozone Crisis" wasn't referring to a woman's underarm area.

   The Cain Train got derailed because the conductor couldn't stop chasing caboose.

   We must love and respect one another. Except people who decorate Christmas trees with blue lights. They should be waterboarded.

   50,000 gather at Rockefeller Center to witness public execution of 74-year old tree.

   Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won't be listening then either.

   Newt Gingrich doesn't just have skeletons in his closet, he has the whole bone army from the 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

   Hey Little Drummer Boy -the Roman Army's hunting us, we're hiding in a barn & the baby's sleeping. Maybe STFU w/the drum.

   I swear all my tweets end up in an empty room in brazil.

   The Revolution will not be televised but a podcast seems inevitable.

   I overheard a woman yelling at her husband for paying more attention to Facebook than to her, or at least that's what I think she said to me.

   Judge your self-worth by how far you can stick your finger up your nose.

   MTV has “My super sweet 16″ and “When I was 17″ what is next? “Officer, I swear she was 18!?”

   The Vatican's chief exorcist says yoga is a satanic practice, which means yoga just got about 11,000,000% cooler.

   There are times that I think that her lazy eye is just playing hard to get.

   A boy named Suh just gave up a lot of Johnny Cash.

   I'm not sure what color you guys should change your avatars to, but Starbucks is out of bran muffins.

   Curious George books are a great way to teach kids that single men who wear large yellow hats and own pet monkeys are in no way threatening.

   Seeing yet another deer crash into a car reminds me that one of us needs to tell all deer that it's time to stop texting.

   Nothing is scarier than an old milky eyed gypsy whispering "don'cha be 'fraid naw."