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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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digesting the fact you've moved onto better things.. LOL JKS you're new boyfriend looks like a retard.
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05-27-2011 01:49 by
Jake
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been so busy lately that even Facebook feels neglected
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05-27-2011 01:49 by
Elbow
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After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
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05-27-2011 01:15 by
Downey
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Get your tongue out of my mouth !...I'm trying to kiss you good-bye !
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05-27-2011 00:13
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Nice BBQ. The bulls got cooked by extreme heat. Anyone want steak?
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05-26-2011 23:39
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im not rich so I'll put a midget in my back pocket so my wallet looks bigger
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05-26-2011 23:37
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I always have this feeling that the SWAT team is waiting to bust through my door
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05-26-2011 22:44
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That fire we once had is now embers
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05-26-2011 22:21
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Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.
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05-26-2011 21:53 by
BEGO
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I'd like Facebook to suggest: Since you've just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more deadweight, like ……
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05-26-2011 21:52 by
BEGO
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Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!
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05-26-2011 21:50 by
BEGO
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Leaving Facebook for Twitter is like leaving the bar to go home.
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05-26-2011 21:49 by
BEGO
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I love when bicthes make status about how much the hate b**ches
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05-26-2011 21:44 by
BEGO
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Shout out to everyone who ever gave GOD I mean Bishop Eddie Long Stroke money. Your money got put to good use today. I'm sure GOD is proud. Shout out to the Building Fund also. That private bedroom he has in his office must be nice.
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05-26-2011 21:37 by
@qpid901
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Why can you buy movies at Walmart with nude scenes in them and can't by a CD with cussin??
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05-26-2011 21:09 by
urboyblue
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Alcohol is very very bad for you. It makes you admit stuff you wouldn't normally admit while sober. Trust me.
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05-26-2011 20:35 by
Adrienne Ogier x
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I'm thinking that Barney Frank's boyfriend already had a position at Fanny....
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05-26-2011 20:28 by
cornholio
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If you think paper beats rock...Hold a piece of paper up in front of your face and I'll throw a rock at it.
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05-26-2011 19:27 by
K-Mac
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My new favorite thing to do is slip a kid $20 while his parents aren't looking and quietly whisper: "This is from your real father."
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05-26-2011 18:44 by
Aaron
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When my words fail, I try interpretive dancing... that usual works
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05-26-2011 18:33 by
datjusthappened
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