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Stealing someone else's words saves you the embarrassment of eating your own. 
In school days I used to hate that guy/girl who always reminds the teacher about tests and vivas
Hey Enrique Iglesias , umm when you said " I can be your hero baby ", did it work ? Cause its not working for me Lmaooo
Damnit GeoCities has closed. Now where can I go to find a poorly designed website devoted to Ghostbusters movie quotes?
thinks cocaine is a good way of telling you that you make too much money
thinks that if atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.
Having children is like being at a never-ending press conference: "No, you can't get an iPod Touch - next question." "Yes, I know how to do the Cat Daddy - next question." "No, Disneyland is not economically viable at this time - next question."
You don't have to like me. I'm not a facebook status.
lady caca was way better when she was madonna
i think pitbulls are mean because theyre mad that minorities keep buying them
I drove by a yard sale today. I know this because they had a child standing out front holding a sign that read "Yard Sale". Apparently they couldn't afford a stick.
The best part of a Lady Gaga song is when it ends
Don't you just hate those people that just stroll across the street like they are so important/cool and have no consideration for anybody else? I'm changing the sound of my horn to gunfire.
a new postage stamp shaped like a vAjAy was introduced yesterday but it's not selling well cos only 5% of men know how 2 lick it properly!
What do you call an Oklahoma farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp. ;)
If you always have to be right, then that's the first thing wrong with you.
that 'aquard' moment when you cant spell "awkward"...
If I get any more awesome I'll have to pay a luxury tax
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "Kindergarten."
Google Earth is way cooler than regular Earth.
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