Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You should worry less about hurting me and more about how you're hurting yourself by missing out on me.

   Oh, I'm just a social drinker. Every time someone says, 'I'll have a drink', I say, 'So shall I !

   Yep, I didn't get any unwanted fathers day cards yesterday!!!! HAPPY MONDAY :D

   Good Morning America challenged everyone to remove any article of clothing they were wearing that wasn't made in America. I was shocked by the results, but not as shocked as the people standing around me in Best Buy.

   . You know you're a dad when you get a certified letter in the mail asking you to be a guest on the Maury Povich Show.

   I noticed today that my EX- Wifes' smart-phone is actually smarter then she is, come to think of it a pre paid walmart cell phone would be smarter then her too.

   Father's Day is the most confusing day in the Ghetto !!!

   "I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions of Use" should be called, "I didn't read the Terms and Conditions of Use but I want to access this sh*t!

   Tone Loc arrested for domestic violence, he shouldn't of drank that Funky Cold Medina!

   If you can listen to Phil Collins "In the air tonight" and not play the air drums, then you my friend have no soul!

   I question the marketing department at car dealerships. Does anyone drive by and say "Look balloons! I gotta buy a car!"

   Rihanna sings about how chains and whips excite her. I wonder if her ancestors felt the same way!

   I was going to say whats on my mind but @Kanye West showed up and took away the keyboard! What a jackass...

   Everybody should have a friend who stutters... its like having your own personal dj...

   I'm seeing alot of lesbian couples with kids. This tells me that men needa start making better fathers than women. Quit slackin fellas.

   When I run for president, if you vote for me i'll make it so homeless people can't have dogs anymore.

   If the address on your id and the address where you live are one and the same then you ain't my type of people

   Watching Miss USA pageant. My heart says Miss California but my penis is rooting for Miss Hawaii.

   I use my cellphone as a flashlight, and hit random buttons to keep it lit.

   Saving a file as "dyjjyggffj", because I'm too lazy to write a proper name.