Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I think one reason they call them "Relaxed Fit" jeans is that "Ass The Size of Texas" jeans would not sell very well.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be hosting the next meeting of the Somerset Time Travel club. It will be held Wednesday of last week. We will be serving breakfast for supper. Please plan to attend! We really missed you next week.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 15:02 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon seeing all these profile pics of old men in honor of Father's Day is giving me the creeps. My wall looks more like a list of sex offenders..
←Rate | 06-18-2011 13:25 by me Comments (1)  


   messageicon what you're awesome at black ops? wow, dedication and no life right there
←Rate | 06-18-2011 11:27 by gee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I give women the respect they deserve.............Oh, and by the way, I call my d*ck "respect" :-)
←Rate | 06-18-2011 11:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your last name is Weiner, don't get caught doing things with your weiner.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 10:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baby, you are my number one, even my number two knows that.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 10:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's all fun and games...unless there's cookies, then it's serious
←Rate | 06-18-2011 09:42 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what happens to facebook accounts of people who pass away.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 09:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey K-Mac you dumbass. People walking across the street have the right away. Damn teenagers
←Rate | 06-18-2011 09:10 by Your Mother Comments (0)  


   messageicon I here Weiner is on suicide watch. Someone's afraid he's gonna choke himself to death.........
←Rate | 06-18-2011 08:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems like nothing really changes. Yet when you look back, everything is different. I must have blacked out again.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 07:56 by Lonagan Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog ate a condom last night. Try explaining THAT to the Vet as it's hanging halfway out of his arse!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 06:18 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only rule when a Genie grants you a wish is that you cannot wish for more wishes. Think outside the Box and wish for more Genies. The moral is that, every situation has a loop hole
←Rate | 06-18-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today the glass is half full but I don't trust the water is filtered, the glass looks dirty & the person that served me has an open wound on their serving hand
←Rate | 06-18-2011 05:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my school days, I used to hate that one kid who always used to remind the teacher about tests, homework and quizzes. But sometimes I wonder how his life turned out though.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 05:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Theee pppostt oofficee ssentt yyourr Vvvibratttorr hheree bby aaaccidenttt. Hhhoww dddo yyyouu sssshuttt ttthisss fffugginnn ttthinggg offffff?!
←Rate | 06-18-2011 04:34 by Marcie / Dawn Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to my heart. Today's menu consist of only two choices: take it or leave it
←Rate | 06-18-2011 02:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That "HELL YEAH" moment after you read a text post that exactly says what you really feel and think.
←Rate | 06-18-2011 02:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon that awkard moment when your at the club using all the moves you learned from Just Dance,Dance Central, and Micheal Jackson's the Experience on the dancefloor...
←Rate | 06-18-2011 02:06 Comments (0)  



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