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Admit it at some point in your life you have tried to close the fridge slowly to see when the light goes out...
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06-01-2011 01:44 by
chucktaylor
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Ever heard yourself sing in the shower and wondered why the f$#! you havent released an album yet??..
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06-01-2011 01:35 by
chucktaylor
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ROFLSHMSFOAIDMT-Rolling On Floor Laughing So Hard My Sombrero Falls Off And I Drop My Taco...
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06-01-2011 01:15 by
chucktaylor
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By the time my vacation is over my memory foam will have lost itz mind! :)
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06-01-2011 00:53 by
MelBinOB
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I got a new phone Friday, it has Texas Hold 'em installed and OH MY FREAKING GOSH IS IT SUNDAY ALREADY?????
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05-31-2011 23:49 by
Doc Noland
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When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face, and now I believe her...
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05-31-2011 23:48
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you didn't make it to my present or future cause i'm passed your bullsh*t
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05-31-2011 23:44
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Kim Kardashian wants her bachelorette party to be low key, just an E! camera crew and 100 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.
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05-31-2011 23:39 by
Doc Noland
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I'm bad with stains. Does anyone know how to get fat out from under a t-shirt?
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05-31-2011 23:35 by
Doc Noland
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Sean Kingston says 'somebody call 911'
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05-31-2011 22:37
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I went to an italian restaurant for lunch, but there was a fat girl at the door and I couldn't get PASTA
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05-31-2011 21:37
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I hate it when people lie, especially when you know the truth about what they are lying about.
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05-31-2011 21:29 by
BEGO
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To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don't care, and the other half don't know.
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05-31-2011 21:28 by
BEGO
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Just when you think you've finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
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05-31-2011 21:27 by
BEGO
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When I say “wow, that's crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven't been listening to a word of your conversation.
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05-31-2011 21:26 by
BEGO
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People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
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05-31-2011 21:25 by
BEGO
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Ever since watching Extreme Couponing I hate grocery shopping even more!!!!
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05-31-2011 21:18
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I went to the Red Cross to donate blood and was refused. Something to do with my Vodka to Plasma ratio being to high.
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05-31-2011 20:37 by
momofthewildthings
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Only the brave men wear white underwear
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05-31-2011 20:08
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Moment of panic: When someone walks in while you're taking a crap at work or school
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05-31-2011 19:47
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