Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon My wife says "Its uncomfortable going to the new OB. My legs are wide open 3 min after we meet." I said, So do 99% of the girls on Craigslist.
←Rate | 06-25-2011 00:59 by @demiroquai Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only people happier than NY gays tonight are NY divorce lawyers..........
←Rate | 06-25-2011 00:21 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yay NY!!! Now, if the gays could only legally smoke pot at their wedding...
←Rate | 06-25-2011 00:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook would have been a college...i would have got a certificate for full attendance
←Rate | 06-24-2011 23:43 by darsh_7 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday I hope to solve one of the great mysteries of life, like where do socks go when you put them into the dryer?
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon rumors ? oh wellll ; at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:53 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who dream big sleep a lot.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:52 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one can change a person, but someone can be a person`s reason to change
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently you shouldn't ever answer a girl's text message with “k.” Bad idea.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gang=A bunch of chickenshits who can't do anything alone....
←Rate | 06-24-2011 22:07 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is tough; it's even tougher when you're stupid.~~John Wayne
←Rate | 06-24-2011 21:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever start to turn numb because you have your AC turned up on max, but you don't want to turn it down because it's 110 deg outside?
←Rate | 06-24-2011 21:48 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook Friends = 427 Friends When I have To Move = 0
←Rate | 06-24-2011 20:28 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles. Do your job.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 18:24 by SDG Comments (0)  


   messageicon We tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is it's not our loss, it's theirs. They left the one person in the world who would never give up on them.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 18:16 by SDG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of "single" as a marital status, they should put "independently owned and operated "
←Rate | 06-24-2011 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call a guy who thinks women belong in the kitchen? Single.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon still very much single! So is now taking applications if you think your suitable for the position apply here the pay is terrible but the benefits are great...
←Rate | 06-24-2011 16:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Ma'am. I did NOT say your child is ugly. All I said was that I would fear for my life if he were ever to get wet… or eat after midnight. I'm sure you won't have to worry about pedophiles either.
←Rate | 06-24-2011 14:59 Comments (0)  



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