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'm so afraid to tweet. What if ankle X-ray gets in hands of unintended recipient like dermatologist? Do I resign? And if so, from what? 
I can hear Wiener's pick-up line....."My bologna has a first name....
Hard to believe there's another little Weiner on the way I'm thinking "Oscar Meyer" has a certain schwing to it.......
Weiner's wife is pregnant! Didn't know that was possible on twitter! From now on I'm wearin a condom when I tweet!
The only thing that could make this Weiner story more perfect is if it turns out to be Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby....
OMG!!! Anthony Weiner's wife is pregnant. Talk about a weiner working overtime....
I think TN's temperature has finally reached Lava°F ...ugh! It's like breathing soup!
"Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts." I love it!
In theory, placing a 'Do not press button' sign on a button will arise obsessive temptation to press it. That said - nobody 'like' this post.
Everyone thinks your crazy, until you say " I learned it Manswers "
I saw LeBron james this afternoon and I asked him for a dollar. He only gave me 75 cents. I was a bit puzzled until I remembered LeBron never gives you the fourth quarter.
Everyone was so quick to point out the obvious typo in my "Meating in the conference room" email.... until I pelted them with bologna.
If you wake up with zits all over your face... you may be suffering from sleep acnea.
When a guy says "forever" it means until the next girl he dates....
Where there is a google, there is an answer!
I would jump in front of train for you ♥ as long as its not moving :D
Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them
If the universe wanted me to be thin, food wouldn't taste so good
You know.... I have gotten some really great bathroom decorating tips from Facebook.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
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