Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4752 of 5577

   messageicon feels like this thing has turned into an FML website... but they arent even funny now
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters girls may be hot, but subway girls are wife material. They stand behind the counter, put whatever you want on your sandwich, and then clean up the kitchen
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mom trying to play Call of Duty, and she thinks the Kill Cam is her killing someone. Getting tired of hearing "I GOT ONE!".....every 5 seconds...
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook .... the online version of "Jerry Springer" .... but more entertaining.....
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardasian is marrying a player on the New Jersey Nets. At least someone on that team is scoring!
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you've never played Tetris, you're probably useless at loading a dishwasher.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear women::: Would it kill you to have a beer and watch the game instead of nagging..!!!!!
←Rate | 06-09-2011 20:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pulling your phone out in front of your friends has the same effect as yawning.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 20:45 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders.. Why do we say "heads up" when we actually mean duck?
←Rate | 06-09-2011 20:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Awkward moment when this random person waves at you, so you wave back and then you figure out they where waving to the person behind you :O
←Rate | 06-09-2011 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon about to play with all the big, cute doggys at the police station
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:26 by Catherine Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heres one for MythBusters: See if she can really suck a golf ball thru a garden hose.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Holy shat Marty McFly turns 50 today. (I could insert a Parkinson's joke here but that would be rude)
←Rate | 06-09-2011 18:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon any girl can be cute with the right amount of makeup
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon _______ _. _____ died June 7, 2011 at the age of __. He was the _______ of ___ Libs. (RIP Leonard B. Stern)
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people look up to me.....it's nice being tall.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:45 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon After I was born the Doctor had to slap my ass to get me breathing, I was so pissed after that I didn't speak to anyone for almost two years
←Rate | 06-09-2011 17:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get in trouble, I just get into questionable situations.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 16:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
←Rate | 06-09-2011 16:12 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left