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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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While reading graffiti on a bathroom stall, at a truck stop... It dawned on me, rednecks created Twitter years ago!
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07-01-2011 17:43
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I know your in a relationship and I know your with them 24/7, I don't need updates on it reminding me you have a partner and where your at!
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07-01-2011 17:30
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Keep your head up high & your middle finger higher!
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07-01-2011 17:09
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I hate when I don't think of the good stuff to say till after the argument is over
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07-01-2011 17:04
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How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
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07-01-2011 16:51 by
Yaj
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Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor's WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I'm the victim here!
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07-01-2011 15:41 by
Marshall the Great
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miss being a kid. No one cared how you dressed, we were all friends, and you could be yourself. When did we turn so judgmental?
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07-01-2011 15:39 by
Surge Yarmolyuk
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Other than changing your email to something other than jizzbucket4u@gmail.com, I'd say your resume looks pretty good.
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07-01-2011 15:39 by
Marshall the Great
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Having great sex after a long dry-spell is like a car accident. The next day you're sore in places you wouldn't think possible.
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07-01-2011 15:38 by
Marshall the Great
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If you've never held your baby in the air while your wife tries to squirt breastmilk in its mouth from across the room then you're a failure as a parent..
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07-01-2011 15:36 by
Marshall the Great
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The word “but” is a great way to let people know that the first part of your sentence was all a lie.
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07-01-2011 15:34 by
Marshall the Great
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that Smurfs movie looks stupid. I just want to see it, just to see how stupid it is."
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07-01-2011 15:30 by
Dylan Bosch
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The 4th of July weekend is upon us, let's celebrate by getting drunk and blowing sh!t up. Oh wait that's what we do ever weekend.
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07-01-2011 15:26 by
Marshall the Great
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Yeah, you're right dude. I totally can't tell you're fat anymore when you wear a t-shirt in the pool..
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07-01-2011 15:20 by
Marshall the Great
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Ludacris rapping with Justin Bieber should be called "Statutory Rap"
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07-01-2011 15:17
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I bet if you go to a restaurant with the Man VS Food guy he'll call you a p*ssy no matter what you order.
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07-01-2011 15:16 by
Marshall the Great
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Happy Birthday forever to everyone on Facebook!! Whew, glad I got that out of the way.
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07-01-2011 15:14 by
Marshall the Great
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I want to live in a house with secret passageways and one of those revolving walls that you have to pull out a book to open.
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07-01-2011 15:13 by
Marshall the Great
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Well well well Mr. Sun, It's about time your lazy a$$ showed up for work!!
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07-01-2011 14:39 by
CJ
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70% of my FB friends think I am being disingenuous when I say I find it funny that they "like" my posts. The other 30% are Googling "disingenuous"...
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07-01-2011 14:01
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