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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Sometimes you see more when you stop looking. Except when I'm at your bedroom window. Then I see EVERYTHING.
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06-12-2011 14:37
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My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
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06-12-2011 14:36 by
Dunno
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Every time a bird poops on my car... I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my patio just to show them what I'm capable of
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06-12-2011 14:13 by
@The69Sheriff
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Lebron needs to start asking himself WWJD ( what would Jordan Do?)
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06-12-2011 13:49 by
Chris
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That awkward moment when your nose can't decide if it wants to sneeze or continue to make you look stupid… and then not sneeze at all!
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06-12-2011 13:45
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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem?
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06-12-2011 13:38
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Palin emails show's that she hadn't had a vacation in 5 years. Heck, the Obama's can't go 5 weeks without a vacation.......
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06-12-2011 13:28 by
sully
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i doubt you're really laughing out loud
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06-12-2011 13:22 by
gee
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My hangover feels like someone is screaming at me in German.
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06-12-2011 12:57 by
doc Noland
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What I love best about sex with a married woman is wiping myself off with her husband's clean underwear!
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06-12-2011 12:54 by
Doc Noland
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in a world that has Taco Bell is there really a need for X-Lax? just sayin :)
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06-12-2011 12:51 by
Mr. Panky
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The best thing about using exclamation marks is that no one knows how sad you are!!!
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06-12-2011 12:50 by
Doc Noland
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Everybody loves pot brownies. But I bring crystal meth cupcakes to a party, suddenly I'm the weirdo.
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06-12-2011 12:33 by
Lozo
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All Right.unless you are a cup of coffee stay outa my face for the next hour!
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06-12-2011 11:20
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man you should have seen this girl walking past me she said " omg your so hot I want you now" if you don't believe me ask Brad Pitt he was behind me.
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06-12-2011 11:09
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Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
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06-12-2011 10:43
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.
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06-12-2011 09:39
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you know you've had too much to drink when you try to fax someone a fruit rollup.
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06-12-2011 09:38
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tongue effing a hot pocket.........oh wait, is that one of the highly inappropriate status messages that makes christians unfriend me?
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06-12-2011 09:36
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How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone? It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
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06-12-2011 09:33 by
Will
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