Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Driving cars is like having sex, all guys think they're good at it
←Rate | 07-04-2011 14:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You all drink too much, you cuss too much, and you all have very questionable morals... Everything I ever wanted in a friend!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 14:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shirt wet, face sweaty, heavy breathing......no, you pervs.....I just mowed the front yard.......
←Rate | 07-04-2011 13:55 by takinovertheworld Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don't be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse ;) Happy 4th of July!!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 12:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is Independence Day. The day when Americans show their deepest gratitude to Will Smith and thank him for saving us from the Alien Invasion!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 12:47 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon celebrating the 4th by putting pop-rocks in the vaseline!!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 12:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Napsterbation. Combining two of my favorite activities..
←Rate | 07-04-2011 11:16 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Internet? Is that thing still around? - Homer Simpson
←Rate | 07-04-2011 11:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dry Clean Only = Dirty Shirt
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:55 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy "Let's watch a bunch of idiots eat an ass-load of hot dogs on ESPN" day!!
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate to go out drinking with unicorns, they use the old "no pockets" excuse to stick me with the bill.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:47 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is Independence Day. The day when Americans show their deepest gratitude to Will Smith and remember all the men, woman and children killed in that horrific alien invasion.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst... so I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl on Facebook posted about how she sprained her toe, and I didn't comment on how I hope it wasn't her camel toe, because I'm an adult.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Inspector Gagdet really knew how to please a woman with all those extendable body parts.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A silly woman will look at what a man drives. A wise woman will look at what drives the Man.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:34 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eventually you'll be separated from everyone you love by distance, argument, divorce or death. Make sure you know how to stand on your own.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My auto-reply to all fake event invitations is - "Has invited you to the event: Getting Unfriended."
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Todays Experience : Apologizing to someone whether its our mistake or not is a matter of our dignity and self respect..We feel a lot better when a misunderstanding is cleared ..
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:29 by Viv Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wondering how many calories my dog burns carrying each mouthful of her dog food all the way from the kitchen into the living room to eat it, then going back to the kitchen to get more. Maybe I should do that.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 10:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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