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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Unwritten Facebook rule #5 : If that person isn't in the photo, don't tag them.
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07-05-2011 04:01 by
invisibility
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DUDE I WASN'T THAT DRUNK! Dude, you were shaking pineapples yelling "Spongebob, I know you're in there!"
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07-05-2011 02:26
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oh mr bean burrito, why do you hate me so?
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07-04-2011 23:54
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I like watching hoarders...it makes my house look clean
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07-04-2011 23:26 by
wayne
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Constitution signed [X] Morons taking over and ruining it [X] ... We gotta fix this country.
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07-04-2011 23:21
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"I wasn't that Drunk.." "Dude, you threw a bird at the police and screamed go angry bird kill those pigs!"
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07-04-2011 21:49 by
BEGO
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We used to be the same person... Who tho hell are you?
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07-04-2011 21:47 by
Rockthabeat
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The two favorite buttons I LOVE on Facebook: "Hide all posts from this person" and "Hide friend request".
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07-04-2011 21:47 by
BEGO
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Okay, I haven't seen a damn spider around here in like three days...What the hell are they planning??
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07-04-2011 21:43 by
BEGO
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Because of the poor economy, we couldn't afford fireworks. The only snap, crackle, and pop at our house yesterday was when I poured milk on a bowl of Rice Krispies.
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07-04-2011 21:38 by
BEGO
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In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is damn bacteria.
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07-04-2011 21:37 by
BEGO
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Let the fireworks begin!!!
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07-04-2011 21:23 by
706
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Microwave popcorn...my own personal fireworks noise.
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07-04-2011 21:13 by
K-Mac
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I want to go to prison....I hear the exercise program there is AWESOME!!!
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07-04-2011 20:14 by
RM
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The reason Rump Roast is called Rump Roast because nobody would eat it if it was called Cow Ass
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07-04-2011 19:52
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I don't always watch porn... but when I do... I prefer Tres Equis... Stay horny my friends...
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07-04-2011 19:23 by
JaxWylde
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I couldnt find the thingy that peels the carrots & potatoes, so I asked the kids if they had saw it & apparently, she left me yesterday?!
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07-04-2011 19:11 by
delburtington
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I miss the 80's. The temperatures, not the decade.
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07-04-2011 18:30 by
Mick
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never seen a tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding that text to ten friends."
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07-04-2011 18:30
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You can't be hot when you're asleep, especially when you're in a deep sleeping having a dream about making love to a Snowman!
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07-04-2011 17:41
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