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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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How you douche bags feel knowing you're disposable ?
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07-02-2011 14:40 by
man_9
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Hey brain, tell the idiot that Carona is not a screw top!! Signed, the skin between the thumb and fore finger.
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07-02-2011 14:35 by
Steve OH
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Dear Facebook. My friends know when I change my profile picture.. Signed, Everyone on the planet
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07-02-2011 14:32 by
Steve OH
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in the $2 shop the other day and the checkout girl called for a price check on an item without a price sticker !
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07-02-2011 13:48
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i wonder if bus drivers stop at bus stops when they drive their own cars??
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07-02-2011 13:09
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Happy 235th to United States and happy 12th or whatever to Alaska and Hawaii.
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07-02-2011 13:08
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I only do things the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do.
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07-02-2011 12:33
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NO Katy Perry, I have NEVER felt like a plastic bag!
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07-02-2011 09:36 by
@mollyfaerie
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In the car: Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? ....
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07-02-2011 08:37
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Planking: Pretending to be a beached whale in places you wouldn't find a beached whale
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07-02-2011 08:36
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I don't care what people think of me. It can't be half as bad as what I think of them...
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07-02-2011 08:36
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Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
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07-02-2011 08:36
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if you're the type of neighbor that likes to scream and yell till 3am, then I'll be the type of neighbor to mow at 6am!
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07-02-2011 08:14 by
flinnie
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how do you turn your dishwasher into a bobcat,,, give your wife a shovel
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07-02-2011 08:10
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Like the egg said to the boiling water...It's going to take me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid last night. Cluck cluck cluck cluck.
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07-02-2011 07:55
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No matter how hot you think you look , a public restroom self taken picture makes you very unattractive.
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07-02-2011 07:44
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Next time a mosquito bites me, I am not going to itch it and give him very low self esteem.
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07-02-2011 05:42 by
cos
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In the news today: Prince Harry is dating his cousin!! I also would be dammned first before I let anyone else date my cousin if she was that good looking.
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07-02-2011 02:13
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Prince Harry is dating his cousin? Aren't we all "distant cousins" in some sense?
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07-02-2011 02:11
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A beer bottle may not be shaped like a Boomerang but it still comes back to me every weekend :-D ;-) :-)
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07-02-2011 01:02 by
@anikethmendonca
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