Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4725 of 5593

   messageicon Most of the time I think i'd be better off talking to a wall other than you
←Rate | 07-06-2011 22:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laters FB... I'm tired of sharing my opinions And liking everybody's sh!t......and Pokin' folks I hardly even know... Peace Out! I'll do all that sh!t to y'all tomorrow.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 22:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gave a pint of blood yesterday. I hate mosquito season.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 22:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just realized I can make 50 funny faces at my boss in less than 30 seconds while the elevator door closes. Anyway, got fired.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 22:07 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 22:06 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon the UFOs are trying to look like stars...i am not fooled.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I watch this Spider walk across my floor, I wonder if his Spidey senses are telling him, he's f*cked
←Rate | 07-06-2011 21:16 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear my glasses to the liquor store in an effort to appear responsible.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 21:14 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sad reality is, after 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom and Jersey Shore, "Milf-Murder Acquittals" was probably going to be the next MTV hit anyways..
←Rate | 07-06-2011 21:04 by ~heZz~ Comments (0)  


   messageicon tiger woods favorite song is "Black and Yellow" cause he is half black and asian
←Rate | 07-06-2011 19:42 by JOSH FRAZIER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind if you play hard to get, as long as you don't play hard to get rid of.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hindsight, saying "goochie goochie goo" while tickling my girlfriend's clitoris was probably a bad idea.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning a girl on my friends list wrote as her Facebook status "F*CKING PHONE!!!" I'll admit now that asking "Can I watch?" was not really my smartest choice.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? I don't f*ckin' know ask Hugh Hefner
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard they're going to be opening up dentist offices in Walmart. They are even including an express lane for people with 15 teeth or less!
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes it takes a friend to tell you to get your head out of your ass, here's to you my friend!
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My colleague just told me that her grandmother or cat or something just died... the booger in her nose was so huge I couldn't focus.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a woman in a pair of Daisy Dukes. Unfortunately, she looked like Boss Hogg.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I call Customer Service, and they say, “This call is being recorded for training purposes,” I make sure to say “motherf*cker” a lot. I'm sure they don't get enough training on that.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird how a crazy white woman gets away with murder and we STILL don't know who killed Tupac o.O
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left