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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Everybody should have a friend who stutters... its like having your own personal dj...
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06-20-2011 03:11
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I'm seeing alot of lesbian couples with kids. This tells me that men needa start making better fathers than women. Quit slackin fellas.
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06-20-2011 02:32
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When I run for president, if you vote for me i'll make it so homeless people can't have dogs anymore.
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06-20-2011 02:32
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If the address on your id and the address where you live are one and the same then you ain't my type of people
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06-20-2011 02:24
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Watching Miss USA pageant. My heart says Miss California but my penis is rooting for Miss Hawaii.
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06-20-2011 01:52 | Tags: Filtered
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I use my cellphone as a flashlight, and hit random buttons to keep it lit.
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06-20-2011 01:49
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Saving a file as "dyjjyggffj", because I'm too lazy to write a proper name.
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06-20-2011 01:08
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For most things there's MasterCard For everything else there's Vodka
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06-20-2011 00:47
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OMG! Maury Povich just pulled up with a camera crew.. My fathers day just got complicated.
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06-19-2011 22:02 by
Lonagan
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Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when the person across the aisle is reading it?
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06-19-2011 21:35 by
BEGO
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I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
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06-19-2011 21:27 by
BEGO
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A man's life is spent between episodes of women being mad at him.
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06-19-2011 21:25 by
BEGO
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Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They're treated like children, and expected to act like adults.
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06-19-2011 21:17 by
BEGO
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Al Qaeda has a new leader, may a new round of hide and seek begin
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06-19-2011 21:14
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I'll never forget from my EX last words: "Are you sure I don't need a parachute?"
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06-19-2011 21:11 by
BEGO
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How come the week always lasts longer than the money you have?
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06-19-2011 21:09 by
BEGO
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Every time I eat Chinese food I wear something nice, just in case I die in the same position as Elvis.
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06-19-2011 20:33 by
Aaron
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My house phone is only good for calling my cellphone when I lose it.
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06-19-2011 19:13
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Happy Fathers Day, mom!!! :D
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06-19-2011 18:42 by
@sukkonmytweet
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No matter what you can do, no matter how talented you are, no matter how amazing and unique that talent may be, somewhere in the world an Asian kid can do it better.
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06-19-2011 17:18 by
Chris Papadopoulos
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