Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I am going to only talk like a gangster from the 1940s starting right now. See?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Follow Does this Dress make me look cross-dresserish?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:27 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im so sick of my smartphone. If technology was up to me, we'd just now be getting around to the whistle thingy when a tea kettle gets hot.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always put eggs in a ziplock bag before I crack them open in case a chicken darts out.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:23 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to do my ATM transactions in Spanish, ‘cause then it feels like a bigger deal when the money comes out.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so hot I just saw a squirrel soaking his nuts in Gatorade!(get ur mind outta the gutter not those kinda nuts)
←Rate | 07-12-2011 20:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It must be "National Beat Up Your Co-Worker Day" cause I've got the urge to walk across the hall and enjoy my holiday.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 19:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon im not saying I'm a badass, but I do play the wii without the straps
←Rate | 07-12-2011 19:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is so frigging hot I just saw a squirrel soaking his nuts in gatorade .
←Rate | 07-12-2011 18:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon about to give herself a Brazlian using duct tape and candle wax. This may hurt a bit...
←Rate | 07-12-2011 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I see one more picture of how many degrees your vehicle says it is outisde...
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks its funny that cigarettes have a warning label on one side, and special offers on the other.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you think it means if there's no fortune in your cookie?
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:35 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Take away all the vowels in "female" you get FML...
←Rate | 07-12-2011 17:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will start carrying “like” stickers and put them on people's forehead when they say something funny.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 16:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This status update is from my friend Josiah. He's Amish and never really gets to give a status update : / "Hey, I'm good." ~ Josiah
←Rate | 07-12-2011 16:20 by BGT Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only thing worse than having to sit through countless worthless commercials is remembering that you're watching a recorded program but not until after watching back to back menopause commercials.
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:58 by DooDoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need some time alone....Gonna go sign in to Myspace
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:45 by mike Comments (0)  


   messageicon ❒Single ❒Taking ✔Screw that it will only bring me down when I run from Zombies
←Rate | 07-12-2011 15:31 Comments (0)  



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