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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Drivin around town with Cee lo's girl. Go ahead and write another stupid @ss song about it.
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06-22-2011 22:25 by
Shuttdogg
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I have had PMS for the past two days. "Parked Motorcycle Syndrome". It's a nice cool night, time for a midnight ride.
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06-22-2011 22:23 by
Lonagan
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My EX was like "We can still be friends" damn is like saying "Hey, the gold fish died but we can keep it"
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06-22-2011 22:16 by
BEGO
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Ohhhh noooo, I have to wake up 4am to work. Damn minimum wage
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06-22-2011 22:13 by
706
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"I don't regret destroying my earlobes with giant discs one bit!" - Every retard who has done so 5-10 years from now.
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06-22-2011 21:47
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No one ever says, “It's only a game,” when their team is winning.
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06-22-2011 21:33 by
BEGO
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it's not that I'm bad at remembering names, I'm just awesome at forgetting some of them.
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06-22-2011 21:29 by
BEGO
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Have you ever done something so stupid that you blamed it on being drunk when you were totally sober just so you looked like less of a dumb ass.
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06-22-2011 21:24 by
ff1241
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A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
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06-22-2011 21:19 by
TZ
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The fact is, whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say...
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06-22-2011 20:26 by
JuSTiNuRFaCe723
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Just clicked a link that promised to show, "the world's largest breasts."... It was just a picture of Michael Moore taking his shirt off.
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06-22-2011 20:21 by
Billy
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Never realized how annoying some people can be. Then you opened my eyes.
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06-22-2011 20:00
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Whats the point of making cars really really fast if there is a speed limit? like, REALLY, WHATS THE POINT?!?!?!
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06-22-2011 19:39 by
NYCBOII123
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I hate going to a restaurant and my girlfriend orders food and ends up picking out of my plate.
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06-22-2011 19:22 by
BRian
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Does homeowner's insurance cover Kool-Aid Man damage?
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06-22-2011 19:10 by
Bobo the Chimp
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Obama's speech tonight: Me me me me I I I I me I me I me me me I my my me me I I my me. Oh, and I........
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06-22-2011 19:09 by
sully
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My car goes from 0 to 60 in five minutes.
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06-22-2011 18:21 by
Aaron
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A lady said her water broke. I offered her my unopened bottle of Aquafina but she kept shouting. She shouted so much an ambulance came.
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06-22-2011 18:19 by
Ryan Dumm
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So what you're saying is "sexist" isn't like "perfectionist" or "saxophonist" and I should take it off the resume.
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06-22-2011 18:17 by
Ryan Dumm
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Swearing: because sometimes "golly gee" and "meany" just don't cut it.
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06-22-2011 17:46
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