Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon 4 out of 5 voices in my head say “go for it”
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't people ever hoard good stuff? I if I were a hoarder, I'd have a house full of cupcakes and slip-n-slides.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The majority of life's greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:16 by SuthernFukr Comments (2)  


   messageicon Did you know? Its impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 15:53 by Zep Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay, the mice throw themselves on the traps.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:56 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excuses are like backsides. Everybody's got one and they all stink.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:52 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have planned to be very spontaneous today
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The future is not a place where you go, It's a place you create.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a fat kid walking I think to myself "why walk when you could just roll"?
←Rate | 07-13-2011 14:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you dare come back running to me when you get treated the exact same way you treated me.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 13:52 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too many funerals and not enough graduations. Too many baby showers, not enough weddings.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 13:41 by NO BODY Comments (0)  


   messageicon someone accused me of being patronizing! that means I treat people like their stupid.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 13:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Enemies, I have so much more for you to be mad about. Just be patient.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 13:34 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tell people secrets, it makes them like me.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 13:01 by ninjakinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 12:36 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, if you don't sin Jesus died for nothing
←Rate | 07-13-2011 12:28 by MNMs Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to write out my self-worth in roman numerals. It looks so much more impressive.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 12:19 by Rick H. Comments (0)  


   messageicon well America looks like you can kill little girls and get away with it these days...Who wants to track down Bieber with me?
←Rate | 07-13-2011 11:24 by SlowMotionNinja Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they have moving sidewalks in the future, when you get on them, I think you should have to assume sort of a walking shape so as not to frighten the dogs
←Rate | 07-13-2011 11:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A rich girl on a safari tour in South Africa saw a crocodile for the first time.... and screamed, Oh my God! LACOSTE
←Rate | 07-13-2011 11:02 Comments (0)  



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