Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I hate when I am all alone in the house then things like soda cans in the trash decide to pop and make noises!
←Rate | 07-13-2011 22:09 by @mr_johnnylovett Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what quality the wife of the inventor of Vagisil possessed that made him want to create such a thing
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm seriously as bored as a vegetarian gay guy at hooters!
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a nickel for every time a girl said, “I'm Over him, I deleted his number & deleted him off Facebook” & then their back together the next day.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, sigh, sigh again.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how a blue fish with memory trouble can be such a great motivational speaker! "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming".
←Rate | 07-13-2011 20:54 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe she's born with it... Maybe it's Maybelline. Or maybe it's Photoshop
←Rate | 07-13-2011 20:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon aww. you need to wipe your mouth sweetheart, you've got some bull ish on your lips.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn
←Rate | 07-13-2011 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey person that always has to make a comment that ruins my status, f*ck off! You're just jealous that I came up with a better status than you.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 18:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up its the same thing as having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 18:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love meeting new people until they say something stupid. Most of my friendships last about 3 minutes.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 18:08 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never can reallly know if a person actually said a quote or not. -Abraham Lincoln
←Rate | 07-13-2011 17:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son I got 99 problems but a b!tch ain't one" -Abraham Lincoln
←Rate | 07-13-2011 17:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 4 out of 5 voices in my head say “go for it”
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why don't people ever hoard good stuff? I if I were a hoarder, I'd have a house full of cupcakes and slip-n-slides.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:22 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The majority of life's greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:16 by SuthernFukr Comments (2)  


   messageicon Did you know? Its impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding Australian? LIKE if you tried.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 15:53 by Zep Comments (0)  



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