Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4699 of 5593

   messageicon Wedding Rings - the world's smallest handcuffs.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:40 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon To everyone on Facebook that plays Farmville or Cityville and sends me requests every hour of the day: Go hang yourselves.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 10:30 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never really understood why people drive around the parking lot looking for a spot right near the door, only to get out and walk around the mall for 5 hours...
←Rate | 07-15-2011 09:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just made instant coffee in the microwave. I went back in time.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 09:00 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl and I are like oil and vinegar. We have to shake things up to make it work.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 08:53 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cant make someone happy, then stand aside and let them be with someone who can.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 07:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is not a word, its a sentence, a life sentence.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 06:06 by Vishal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm all for getting stuff done, but forgetting lunch is where I draw the line.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 01:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe this is the last Harry Potter movie. It's the end of an era. Who knows, maybe someone will turn it into a book.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 00:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Took a laxative and drank a Red Bull. Sitting on the toilet waiting for launch!
←Rate | 07-14-2011 23:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, it's not that there are no good men out there. It's just that you turned down 6 of em that wanted a chance to treat you right and you chose the a$$hole.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 23:28 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Dear Ex, Don't get your hopes up about the pics of us on Facebook. The reason why I haven't deleted some of the photos is purely because I look good in them.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 23:04 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When offering an apology, if you include buts... and excuses it kind of negates the apology... What do you think?
←Rate | 07-14-2011 23:02 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear ladies. I know you are "twice the woman", but that doesn't mean you have to wear twice the swimsuit...A one-piece will do much better
←Rate | 07-14-2011 22:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is never a GOOD way to say BYE.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 22:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No comment" usually translates into "Oh, if you only knew."
←Rate | 07-14-2011 22:13 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her eyes were like diamonds, so shiny and bright. But her teeth were like stars... they come out every night.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 22:10 by Philly Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 22:09 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The bar was closed when I got there with a sign that said, “The door is alarmed.” I said to myself, “How do you think I feel?”
←Rate | 07-14-2011 22:08 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I laughed, I cried, then laughed, then cried, then laughed, then cried..." -Early reviews for 'The Bi-Polar Express'
←Rate | 07-14-2011 21:32 by Bobo the Chimp Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left