Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Hot weather drinking tip: Consume a fist full of aspirin, down a bottle of vodka and go stand out in the sun for about seven hours. Its fun
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon house shoes...check....pajama bottoms...check....tank tops with no bra....check....Yep, I'm at Wal-Mart!
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone hits a brick wall now and then, the trick is not to do it with your head.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free……for the first 90 days.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't win. I'm better at this than you are.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of people constantly complain about Monday's, Tuesday's and Wednesday's being the worst part of the week, I have discovered that with the right mix of Jack Daniels and sleeping pills those days no longer have to happen.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 11:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon INSTALLING RAIN FOR TEXAS ████ 44% DONE... please wait. Installation failed. Please try again.404 error:Rain not found. Weather "Rain" cannot be located. The weather you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed or temp. unavai
←Rate | 07-19-2011 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't spell "female" without "fml"..
←Rate | 07-19-2011 11:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life hands you lemons, make apple cider. Because life will be expecting you to make lemonade, so you'll have the element of surprise. Then you can be all "yeahhhh son, whatchu got now, life?? Nothing! You got nothing!"
←Rate | 07-19-2011 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arguing with your Boss is like fighting a pig in mud. In the end , you will get dirty and he actually enjoys it.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 10:22 by Chintu Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inception just umm... my head kind of... I hope this isn't a dream...
←Rate | 07-19-2011 10:09 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems those who wear Princess, Sexy, and MILF on a T-shirt...usually are NOT.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 10:00 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Took off all the straws on my kids Capri Suns and threw them out the window on my way to work.....THUG LIFE!!
←Rate | 07-19-2011 09:44 by DaInfamousLexxx Comments (0)  


   messageicon The love you can't have lasts the longest...feels the strongest...and hurts the most.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 08:32 by Nomalungelo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently I have "Sucker" written across my forehead that only women can see...well played XX chromosome, well played indeed...
←Rate | 07-19-2011 08:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confucius says, It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 08:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon dont you hate it when you grab the last Capri Sun pouch and theres no straw to attached it with
←Rate | 07-19-2011 07:22 by ed status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow! You breathe oxygen too? Guess we have a lot in common.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 07:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Assign to your phone contacts, it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone.
←Rate | 07-19-2011 06:07 by Zep Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self; don't take a nap with worlds wildest police chases on.....you get some CRAZY dreams!
←Rate | 07-19-2011 01:51 Comments (0)  



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