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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Say what you want about drunk people, but at least they've had all their shots.
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07-23-2011 02:26 by
Aaron
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I wanna give a minute to thank GOD for me being born in the era with A/C.
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07-23-2011 02:13 by
@DesignsByQPid
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Worse thing about having a couple ex's in group of friends. I always have to check the attending list on Facebook events before confirming.
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07-23-2011 01:03 by
Will
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: Please do not take my kindness for weakness. Because I will not be afraid to knock you the hell out!
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07-23-2011 00:07
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Hey, Red Bull, you know what else gives us wings? Kotex. There seems to be a slam dunk marketing opportunity here that someone is missing.
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07-23-2011 00:04
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Chris Schwarzenegger should be less concerned with the collapsed lung and more with the fact that his family has a replacement standing by.
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07-23-2011 00:03
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Gotta love AC with this heat, but damn it's colder than a witches ( . ) in here...
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07-22-2011 23:34 by
Massena43
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The U.S. is moving closer and closer to defaulting on our debt... maybe we should ask Citibank, Bank of America and GM to bail us out...
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07-22-2011 23:33 by
JaxWylde
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Dude... I just walked outside and my air conditioner flipped me the finger!
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07-22-2011 23:33
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When I get multiple friend requests on MySpace, my pager goes crazy.
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07-22-2011 23:19 by
Shuttdogg
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There's a reason Congress begins with the word con. Con is the oppsosite of pro, so Congress must be the opposite of progress.
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07-22-2011 23:09
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Lazy Rule #15: Be sure your woman is trained to bring a sandwich after going to pound town.
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07-22-2011 22:35
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Lazy Rule #14: If you drop the ice cube, just kick it under the fridge or the stove...
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07-22-2011 22:29
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People who say "I'm beside myself" are often mistaken.... with the notable exception of time travellers and Siamese twins.
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07-22-2011 22:26
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The word is RUMORS dumbass, kinda like the ones we heard about you not being funny. Except that one turned out to be true.
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07-22-2011 21:34
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Dont Drink and Drive....Drink and call AAA and say "my car is Fooked up just tow it to my house"
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07-22-2011 20:54
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The News said its going to be 99 Degrees today but its going to feel like 110.... B!c$h, say its gone be 110 Degrees then!
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07-22-2011 20:47 by
ed status
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wondering if a bra is called an over the sholder bolder holder then what is mens underwear under the but nut hut?
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07-22-2011 20:39 by
:)
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The best things in life are free until the government finds out and taxes it.
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07-22-2011 19:31
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If you think you're alone and nobody notices you, try not paying your bills.
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07-22-2011 19:31
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