Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:18 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon Swords would be a lot less cool if we pronounced the "w."
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, I'm tweeting from inside a car wash! I wonder if my phone will still work if I roll down the win
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention guy walking two feet behind me down the entire block even though we're the only people on this street: I will stab you in 10 feet.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:08 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders how many people could get high from snorting Amy Winehouse's ashes...
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if they turned the economy off and then turned it back on it might run better. Works for my computer.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope to someday live in a world where we all remember which side the gas tank is on.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 14:03 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon has become a master at using shake weights...I guess those trombone lessons paid off after all!
←Rate | 07-27-2011 13:43 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I set up my Google+ today with two main groups 1. Me 2.Them
←Rate | 07-27-2011 12:24 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon lmaoo.. I hate when people say, "i gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face?
←Rate | 07-27-2011 12:23 by FarranSpeak Comments (0)  


   messageicon LIKE IF: You sat down to check Facebook real quick and...an hour later, you're still here.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cell phones should have the option to change "airplane mode" to "drunk mode" that way your drunk texts never leave your phone.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:35 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been told I have a certain ineffable quality. But guys, I think you'll find I'm totally effable if you drink enough beer.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks, confirmation email telling me I've successfully unsubscribed from your emails. You just had to get the last word in didn't you?
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every good man is a good woman. Behind her are her over opinionated friends so she gets bad advice and comes off sounding like a b!tch.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another sad news in the music industry, Justin Bieber was found in his apartment, ALIVE
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:21 by Xprivado Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend's ex walked over to me the other day and asked… "So how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?" I said, "Doesn't bother me, actually once you get past the 1st 3 inches, the rest is all brand new."
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon next time a doctor tells you to cut your alcohol intake, tell them that wine is made from fruit, brandy is distilled wine, and beer is made from grain, cutting back on alcohol will reduce my 5-a-day!
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my girlfriend tells me to "be safe" everytime I walk out the door, that means that I need to carry condoms with me, right?
←Rate | 07-27-2011 11:03 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon They sent my Census form back-AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied - "12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 8.5 million unemployed people, 7 million in prisons; millions in every state collecting.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 10:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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