Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!!!
←Rate | 07-27-2011 06:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Add Amy Winehouse's Blackberry Messenger Pin: 0V3RD053
←Rate | 07-27-2011 06:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon infomercials have taught me that no one can do anything right if its done in black and white. Do things in color, problem solved.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baseball is so boring now. Bring back the Steroids!!
←Rate | 07-27-2011 04:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set.
←Rate | 07-27-2011 01:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, I'm still waiting for you...
←Rate | 07-27-2011 01:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the creepiest thing is meeting someone new and adding them on facebook, only to find they are already on youre facebook.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 23:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching Conan O'Brian and thinking he should hire some of us as staff writers.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're gonna order a salad with ham, raisins, peanuts, croutons & extra ranch, just order a freaking sandwich.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 23:29 by derfmeister Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother called Information. While I'm sitting here with my laptop, she called Information. Even the Amish dont call information anymore
←Rate | 07-26-2011 23:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fine dont text me back then. Its not like I'm obsessively checking my phone or anything
←Rate | 07-26-2011 23:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weddings in 3 weeks, I wish I could invite all of you but the Waffle House only fits 43.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 23:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Old: Can I buy you a drink? New : I'll give you fourteen dollars for your phone number.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon They sent my Census form back-AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied - "12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 8.5 million unemployed people, 7 million in prisons; millions in every state collecting
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon welfare and/or food stamps with no intentions of ever working; and 535 useless people in the U.S. House and Senate. Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer!!
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm rich, I'm going to dictate my status updates to my secretary, and my butler will press that share button.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:54 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon They sent my Census form back-AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied - "12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 8.5 million unemployed people, 7 million in prisons; millions in every state collecting we
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to Wendy's the other day, after seeing their new dollar menu, I have to ask "Where's the Beef"?????
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im still waiting for customer service but Ive exhausted all my dance moves to their hold music, now damn what?
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:50 by BEGO Comments (1)  


   messageicon If State Farm were such a good neighbor theyd come over and pick up all the dog s@it in my yard.
←Rate | 07-26-2011 22:45 by BEGO | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  



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