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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I wonder if I'm the only person who makes the "oh my god" face when I poot really loud in a packed out restroom
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08-04-2011 03:30 by
whoiskel?
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A man should never talk on the phone with another guy while lying on his stomach with his legs in the air.
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08-04-2011 03:18 by
BAD GUY
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If I had a pu$$y, I would never be broke!
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08-04-2011 03:17 by
KISSTOPHER
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Lazy Test Rule #19401957294710149: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number.
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08-04-2011 02:07 by
LukeGeorge
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Going to try to make meat loaf this week. Shape Meat into ball or loaf, place into pan, Cover with ketchup, turn on oven
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08-03-2011 22:32
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It's ok to talk to yourself as long as you don't get answers
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08-03-2011 22:14
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Writing a poem to my wife. What rhymes with threesome?
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08-03-2011 21:42
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If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one ?
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08-03-2011 21:35 by
BEGO
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The heat wave continues! It's so hot in New York City that the Statue of Liberty was asked to blow out her torch.--Joan Rivers
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08-03-2011 21:25 by
Linda
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Grandmother died and in the will she left me the whole farm!! only later did I realized it was on Facebook. Well played Grandmother, well played.
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08-03-2011 19:44 by
MikeM
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Since almost 7 billion people live on Earth now, the statement "you're one in a million" really isn't that much of a compliment anymore.
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08-03-2011 16:15 by
SuthernFukr
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put my phone to "Airplane Mode" and it told me not to call it Shirley.
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08-03-2011 16:12
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All our problems in the Middle East started when Indiana Jones shot that guy waving the sword around.
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08-03-2011 16:10
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In my book, having sex with people comes first and getting to know the person comes second.
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08-03-2011 15:48
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Bad breath + Bad body odor = Undateable
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08-03-2011 15:44
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Women don't cheat on me, they cheat with me.
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08-03-2011 14:45
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Teacher: where is your homework? Student: I uploaded it on Facebook and I tagged you in it.
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08-03-2011 14:10
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I'll never just put the seat down; the lid's going down with it. If I gotta work, so does she.
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08-03-2011 13:27 by
SuthernFukr
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I hate gently tossing my phone on the bed and it ricocheting off three walls, hitting a lamp, and a cat.
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08-03-2011 13:27 by
SuthernFukr
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Has anyone seen MySpace Tom on Facebook?
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08-03-2011 12:52 by
K-Mac
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