Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Meatloaf passed out at another concert, but wouldn't cancel the show. No he won't do that, oh no, he won't do that.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 15:32 by hoosiergatorfan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Will be open for Flirting from 8pm - 2am, Monday - Sunday.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there were no women on earth, I would have left this god forsaken planet a long time ago. I am strictly here for the women, everything else is just a bonus. Women make my stay here worthwhile.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 15:22 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a professional athlete wants more $ because they out play their contract then they should get less $ when they under play their contract.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex for Hugh Hefner at his age must be like shooting pool with a rope.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 14:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to install a horn for the back of my car for retaliatory, defensive honks.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 14:05 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The guy you dreamed of isn't available, so they sent me instead." What all dudes should say on a first date.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 14:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people in the world: those who know how to handle stress and those who need bail money.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 13:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My little sister's password for the Disney website is “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto” I asked her why, she said “They told me to use 4 characters”
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd go to the gym more but you have to park like 2 blocks away!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he's being told where to deliver the ransom money.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:35 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture in there.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:32 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some open minds should be closed for repairs.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:30 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but now how it applies to me.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:29 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can leap off tall buildings in a single bound, but only once.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:13 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can take a hint or you can take a hike... But you are not taking my heart.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never say never......or too much......or schumoblagaghadazjy, because that's hard to pronounce and doesn't mean anything.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 11:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire ...... especially in the U. S. Congress!!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts."
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest dammit! KNEES TO CHEST!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:15 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  



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