Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon My little sister's password for the Disney website is “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto” I asked her why, she said “They told me to use 4 characters”
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd go to the gym more but you have to park like 2 blocks away!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he's being told where to deliver the ransom money.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:35 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture in there.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:32 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some open minds should be closed for repairs.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:30 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but now how it applies to me.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:29 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can leap off tall buildings in a single bound, but only once.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:13 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can take a hint or you can take a hike... But you are not taking my heart.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 12:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never say never......or too much......or schumoblagaghadazjy, because that's hard to pronounce and doesn't mean anything.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 11:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire ...... especially in the U. S. Congress!!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sharks are like dogs. They only bite when you touch their private parts."
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest dammit! KNEES TO CHEST!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:15 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wanna steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase cuz I think it'll be funny watching a bunch of cops chasing a donut truck
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:15 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Did you know if you hit someone really hard with a hammer, they IMMEDIATELY start planking?
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:14 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One packet of Kool-Aid 10 cents, one pitcher to put the Kool-Aid $2.00, drinking all the Kool-Aid and putting the almost empty container back in the fridge and having the wife blame and b*tch out the kids for it, PRICELESS
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:09 by DaInfamousLexxx Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got this DVD "Hot And Horny Housewives Do Anal 3". Do you think I will understand what's going on if I've not seen 1 and 2?
←Rate | 08-02-2011 09:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Key to a long relationship: keep the fights clean and the sex dirty
←Rate | 08-02-2011 09:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm feeling kind of heavenly today, I just turned water into Kool-Aid.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 09:11 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you never seen it with your own eyes, or heard it with your own ears. Don't think it in your tiny brain, and spread it with your big mouth.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 09:04 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think some people should have two Facebook pages. One for each face.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 08:50 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  



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