Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Dear Bruno Mars, dont die for that b*tch, obviously if someones throwing grenades at her she's involved in some illegal sh*t.

   The thermostat outside ran out of numbers and is just showing a picture of Halle Berry. THAT'S how hot it is outside.

   There's too much emphasis put on winning in life. I'm just trying for a participation ribbon.

   Amy Winehouse Making the recession worse for drug dealers since 2011

   I knew someone would have to do it but I didn't know it would be someone so famous! Amy Winehouse had to take her own life just so people on fbook would talk about something other than the weather! You all are to blame for this!!

   Hard to believe Amy Winehouse "vapor locked" today....I always thought that heroine, speed, crack and booze were part of the 4 basic food groups.

   I'm shocked. Amy Winehouse look like she would last 2 weeks more at least, with no worries.

   When people stutter I have a really bad urge to shout "REMIX!"

   Sometimes I wish I was an animal. Animals don't bullsh*t each other; they always keep it real and to the point. Animal pickup line is simple and effective - " I like you let's make babies”

   Don't say all guys are the same when it's just you who keeps falling for the same type of guys. The losers and the abusers.

   A guy can get up to 20 years prison for throwing peanuts at a flight attendant. Casey Anthony killed her daughter and she goes free. Yeah, seems fair..

   Ok RedBull. You and I, we're done..No, we can't be just friends, it's over. I know, it's hard for you, but if all goes well, in a few months you can start a support group with your cohorts, caffeine and nicotine, coz their time is soon coming to an end .

   thinks we should all deal with things like dogs: if you can't eat it, sniff it, or hump it, then piss on it and walk away!!

   Some sick f##ks in this world I tell you.. That sicko in Norway who killed 87 kids needs to be given the same treatment.. Line him up and 86 members of his vile family and torture them until they cry for mercy and then finish them off.

   Say what you want about drunk people, but at least they've had all their shots.

   I wanna give a minute to thank GOD for me being born in the era with A/C.

   Worse thing about having a couple ex's in group of friends. I always have to check the attending list on Facebook events before confirming.

   : Please do not take my kindness for weakness. Because I will not be afraid to knock you the hell out!

   Hey, Red Bull, you know what else gives us wings? Kotex. There seems to be a slam dunk marketing opportunity here that someone is missing.

   Chris Schwarzenegger should be less concerned with the collapsed lung and more with the fact that his family has a replacement standing by.