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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The heat hasn't been this bad since the NBA Finals...
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07-27-2011 09:45 by
Marshall the Great
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Of all the lies I tell, "I was just kidding!" is my favorite.
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07-27-2011 09:42 by
Marshall the Great
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Beautiful people and ugly people basically look the same by 80. So hang in there ugly people!
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07-27-2011 09:42
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Words. They can arouse. They can make you laugh, and make you cry. But if you find the one who can heal you with words, never let them go.
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07-27-2011 09:40
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Heard Rupert Murdoch was deeply touched by all the messages left on Amy Winehouse's voicemail.
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07-27-2011 09:31 by
Kitrinaty
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Anyone want to lend me $500.00 until Thursday June 20th, 2047 ?
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07-27-2011 09:30
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BlackBerry laid off 11% of its workers. You can tell its bad cuz the CEO's announcement ended w/ the line "Sent from my iPhone."
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07-27-2011 09:23
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I find humor in everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at
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07-27-2011 08:15
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Your phone has more computing power now then all of NASA had in 1969. They launched a man into space, we launched angry birds into pigs.
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07-27-2011 07:43 by
Brafty Crastard
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no need to google, my wife know everything :P
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07-27-2011 07:37 by
charbel
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Say "eye" then spell "map" and then say "ness". :P
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07-27-2011 07:35 by
Brafty Crastard
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Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity, don't screw the opportunity.
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07-27-2011 06:08 by
DangerDave
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In life, never look down on anybody, unless you are getting a lovely view of the cleavage!!!
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07-27-2011 06:07
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Add Amy Winehouse's Blackberry Messenger Pin: 0V3RD053
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07-27-2011 06:03
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infomercials have taught me that no one can do anything right if its done in black and white. Do things in color, problem solved.
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07-27-2011 04:48
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Baseball is so boring now. Bring back the Steroids!!
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07-27-2011 04:45
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I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set.
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07-27-2011 01:43
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If at first you don't succeed, I'm still waiting for you...
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07-27-2011 01:23
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the creepiest thing is meeting someone new and adding them on facebook, only to find they are already on youre facebook.
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07-26-2011 23:50
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Watching Conan O'Brian and thinking he should hire some of us as staff writers.
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07-26-2011 23:33
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