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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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When I hear someone say they hear voices in their head, I wonder if they're just thinking for the first time.
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07-28-2011 10:49
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I walked in on my boyfriend watching porn, later he walked in on me watching Glee. I don't know who was more embarrassed.
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07-28-2011 10:47
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I find a bit of sick pleasure in holding the door for people that are still far away to force them into an awkward run
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07-28-2011 10:43
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All I got to say is "Sisters before misters."
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07-28-2011 08:19 by
Wendy256
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To hear many religious nuts talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.
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07-28-2011 08:12 by
BAD GUY
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Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful
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07-28-2011 08:02 by
charbel
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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07-28-2011 07:56 by
Boomtastic
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The wagon of love breaks down under the weight of baggage from the past.
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07-28-2011 06:36 by
KISSTOPHER
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Coffee without caffeine. Beer without alcohol. Milk without fat. What's next ? Marriage without sex?
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07-28-2011 06:34 by
KISSTOPHER
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The sincerest form of flattery is a steamroller
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07-28-2011 05:54 by
flinnie
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To all those that like to take pics in their bathroom mirrors, clean up the bathroom first!
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07-28-2011 05:52 by
flinnie
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Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again you're fired"
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07-28-2011 05:51 by
flinnie
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"Hey there, little fella!" -First words said by every guy finishing liposuction surgery.
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07-28-2011 04:22 by
@dj_soltrix
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Now days its Interesting how all Bar Debates end up on Google without a Fight
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07-28-2011 03:27
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Dear fourth grader on Facebook: How are you in a complicated relationship? What did they do? Steal your animal crackers?
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07-28-2011 01:49
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USA - "Dad can I borrow a few trillion dollars?" England - "...Ask your mother" China - "Hell no I'm not giving you any money!! You'll just let your government friends waste it all on gambling.
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07-28-2011 01:34 by
Danmanz
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I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
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07-28-2011 01:04
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Its been 8 minutes since anyone has posted anything new... What r you b*tches planning and why wasnt I invited...
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07-28-2011 00:51
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I'm going to sign my gf up for Hoarders, she must have been saving her emotional and mental bullsh!t until we got together
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07-27-2011 23:20
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Tried to leave a voicemail for my mom but she picked up. I was forced to drop my phone into my gf's purse and shake it around for 10 minutes.
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07-27-2011 23:19
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