Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Uncle sam & all his relatives gotta take a piece of my paycheck. Half of these people I don't even know what they do...like who the hell is FICA???
←Rate | 08-25-2011 22:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing cards is a lot like marriage...if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 22:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope hurricane Irene takes care of "Jersey Shore"... Permanently!
←Rate | 08-25-2011 22:09 by Malichai Comments (0)  


   messageicon WOW! Monty Hall turns 90 today - apparently he was offered 12 more year of healthy living, or he could trade it for what's behind door #2
←Rate | 08-25-2011 21:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the force of Hurricane Irene wipe out the entire "Jersey Shore" cast. Lord, hear our prayer!
←Rate | 08-25-2011 21:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a bad case of SRH!!! (Sperm retention headache)
←Rate | 08-25-2011 21:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide if this thick orange sky color over New York is beautiful or too close to a chemical attack of some sort.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 19:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I a hypochondriac? Well, a cloud just went in front of the sun and I thought I was fainting.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 19:40 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your azz is as wide as an ax handle, you shouldn't be allowed to use "LMAO"
←Rate | 08-25-2011 18:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's some consolation in the fact that even though your dreams haven't come true.... neither have your nightmares.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 18:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Refuses to add his co workers on Facebook, I don't want them to see all the sh!t I talk about them on there.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 18:24 by Brafty Crastard Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst - So I've been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 17:43 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon maybe they should make a game for your phone where you can shoot women into the air with a slingshot and try to destroy everything men say and call it ANGRY B*TCHES
←Rate | 08-25-2011 17:36 by levon Comments (0)  


   messageicon 's bank account needs month-to-month resuscitation!
←Rate | 08-25-2011 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read where it said that having sex burns 4 calories per minute. I mean come on, are you serious? This has to be worng. How was this ever verified? A WHOLE minute??
←Rate | 08-25-2011 17:06 by Paul Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a small child trying to talk to me right now. Quick! What should I do??
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I'd like to yell, "You're a f#%$ing disgrace!" without feeling like a hypocrite.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon They can go ahead and change the name "land line" to "cell phone finder" now.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd think Tigger and Eeyore would have traded some of their meds.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 15:57 by Aaron Comments (0)  



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