Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I knew this hurricane would be lame. After all, they named it after a chinese lady with one leg.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are really "friends" with that many people on facebook, why are you alone standing in front of a mirror taking a picture of yourself? Cant you get one of your 867 friends to take it?
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:50 by JG Comments (0)  


   messageicon Peace & quiet are fundamental and necessary for a short time each and every day :)
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not the getting up and getting ready for work that I hate. It's the 8 hour wait to go home that's the b!tch
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the famous words of Pepe Le Pew "Le Monday, you le suck!"
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know if I was the ruler of my own country and I thought the people were gonna revolt against me...I would probably give them free rice krispies treats...Cuz aint no way you could stay mad at someone whose giving you free rice krispies treats...
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:07 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its shake weight time, minus the shake weight.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My phone autocorrected killed to kilt. Well plaid, phone. Well plaid.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are basically only four ways to handle Mondays; get around it, get under it, get through it, or get the f*ck over it.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't say she was fat but she has to wear a G-rope.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see they now have a candle scent called "Maple Butter". Nice, but "Maple Butter with Bacon" would be oh so much better.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all the people who failed out of high school, just remember two things: 1) At least you tried your best, and 2) I said NO tomatoes on my burger, b!tch!
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you go Facebook - You never go back.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man buys a box of tampons for his old lady, and the cashier asks, "Do you want me to put these in the bag". The man replies, "No, I think she can do it by herself."
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:03 by sbenj69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Michele Bachmann, Hurricane Irene was a warning from God... That you SHOULDN'T run for President in 2012. Best Regards.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 16:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend posted on Facebook saying, "Rhianna is the greatest artist evar <<<<3" For some reason she got annoyed when I said, "No way, Chris Brown beats Rhianna any day!"
←Rate | 08-29-2011 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think maybe I could save even more than 15% on my car insurance if Geico didn't waste so much f*cking money on commercials?
←Rate | 08-29-2011 15:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: Silence doesn't always mean your sexual performance left her speechless.
←Rate | 08-29-2011 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I wasn't that drunk" 'Dude, you were in my closet yelling "Where's Narnia"
←Rate | 08-29-2011 15:12 Comments (0)  



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