Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Don't take me for granted and break my heart, because unlike the others, I will kick your a$$.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 06:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Car commercials make driving around in empty parking garages look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 05:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interesting how you can't say "prick" on TV as a noun or calling someone the name. You can say you got a prick on your finger just don't say you fingered a prick.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 01:54 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm so romantic, sometimes I think I should date myself.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 01:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You try to teach a kid not to steal, but every once in a while they come back with something you really want. Now I have a back scratcher.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 00:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its sad that at a certain point some peoples promises just start too sound like Charlie Brown's Teacher..."Wah wah wah wah wah wah"
←Rate | 09-04-2011 00:06 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know da day is off to a bad start when you realize you put your dirty socks in the toaster, two slices of bread in the toilet and peed in the laundry hamper.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 23:13 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the Angry Birds could use some anger management counselling. Mellow out, my cranky avian bros!
←Rate | 09-03-2011 23:11 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wife asks "Do you wanna have sex or watch Top Chef?"... Apparently "Well, what are they cooking?" was the wrong answer
←Rate | 09-03-2011 23:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy in line in front of me has flowers, condoms, mints, deodorant, and Champagne. It's no secret what he's up to... Whereas my items are less revealing... toilet paper, Perpetration H, Imodium A-D, and stain remover.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 22:39 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was your age, I didn't even know what drugs were!" The robot slaps the dad. Mom: "Haha! He's definitely YOUR son!" The robot slaps the mom.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 21:20 by legendarybonesnap Comments (0)  


   messageicon -A dad buys a lie detector robot, which slaps people when they lie.. so he decides to test it out a dinner. Dad: "Son, where were you today?" Son: "I was at school." The robot, slaps the boy. Son: "Okay Okay, I did drugs with a friend!" ... Dad: "What! Wh
←Rate | 09-03-2011 21:20 by legendarybonesnap Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks there was more white trash at the Toby Keith concert than in the dumpster behind a paper plate factory
←Rate | 09-03-2011 21:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here, put these floaties on your ankles ...
←Rate | 09-03-2011 20:56 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon nailing Jello to a tree isn't hard. Freeze it. Adapt and overcome.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell no I don't use a Loofah in the shower....I use a Man-Sponge!!...There's a difference lol
←Rate | 09-03-2011 20:06 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Jäger I think we need to stop seeing each other...."Maybe we have too much in common.  We are too much alike." If the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me....
←Rate | 09-03-2011 19:51 by @gnarleycharley Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Colonel Gaddafi: If you are going to use human shields to protect yourself from rebel attacks....May I suggest using Snookie, Justin Bieber, Casey Anthony and the Octomom
←Rate | 09-03-2011 19:13 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon everybody hates it when their job blows...but love it the other way round.
←Rate | 09-03-2011 19:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just left Disney resort to Orlando airport on the Disney's magical express.. Yeah right the magic here is the break I will have on my mastercard
←Rate | 09-03-2011 18:53 by Reinreb Comments (0)  



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