Interesting how you can't say "prick" on TV as a noun or calling someone the name. You can say you got a prick on your finger just don't say you fingered a prick.
You know da day is off to a bad start when you realize you put your dirty socks in the toaster, two slices of bread in the toilet and peed in the laundry hamper.
The guy in line in front of me has flowers, condoms, mints, deodorant, and Champagne. It's no secret what he's up to... Whereas my items are less revealing... toilet paper, Perpetration H, Imodium A-D, and stain remover.
-A dad buys a lie detector robot, which slaps people when they lie.. so he decides to test it out a dinner. Dad: "Son, where were you today?" Son: "I was at school." The robot, slaps the boy. Son: "Okay Okay, I did drugs with a friend!" ... Dad: "What! Wh
Dear Jäger I think we need to stop seeing each other...."Maybe we have too much in common. We are too much alike." If the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me....
Dear Colonel Gaddafi: If you are going to use human shields to protect yourself from rebel attacks....May I suggest using Snookie, Justin Bieber, Casey Anthony and the Octomom