Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   the rejection you feel when the automatic doors dont open for you..

   a black guy in a horror movie has a better chance to survive than a white girl in aruba

   ghetto word of the day: Israel "homie that watch is fake, nah man it this watch Israel"

   My “Sleep Number” is pretty much 24/7.

   Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. George Carlin

   The only way I'm going to drop ten pounds is if I go shopping in England.

   Abercrombie and Fitch telling the Jersey Shore Cast that wearing their brand makes the brand look scuzzy is a lot like Lindsay Lohan telling Paris Hilton that her partying antics make talentless famous starlets look like trash.

   had some x-rays taken today, turns out I'm not big-boned...just fat :(

   I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It's H2OMG

   finally, the Friday of my discontent

   Nobody is worth feeling like sh*t for, if they are not bringing you up, then drop their a$$ and stop letting them drag you down.

   Some girls date bad boys because they think they can 'fix them'. Stop it, he is not a broken car and you are not a mechanic.

   Don't worry about what people say about you. I mean, my shower saw me naked. Imagine what its telling the toaster?

   Married life has many Ups and Downs... I just wish most of them were between the sheets!

   ...3346,3347,3348,3349- DAMN SHEEP I WISH THEY'D DO THEIR DAMN JOBS!!!! *sigh*...3350,3351,3352...

   So, I see they have a gypsy in the new Big Brother house. Good luck trying to evict that!

   If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a Twosome... Why is Handsome still a compliment?

   Talk is cheap but liquor is cheaper

   It takes two to tango and a London mob to tangle

   Looks can be deceiving, so just turn around and I'll judge you by you booty