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There's a small child trying to talk to me right now. Quick! What should I do??
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08-25-2011 16:47 by
Doc Noland
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I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on.
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08-25-2011 16:37 by
Doc Noland
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Just once I'd like to yell, "You're a f#%$ing disgrace!" without feeling like a hypocrite.
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08-25-2011 16:32 by
Doc Noland
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They can go ahead and change the name "land line" to "cell phone finder" now.
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08-25-2011 16:10 by
SuthernFukr
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You'd think Tigger and Eeyore would have traded some of their meds.
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08-25-2011 15:57 by
Aaron
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Apparently the Washington Monument has been damaged. MSNBC says the Washington monument is leaning to left. Fox news says its to the right.
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08-25-2011 15:56
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REAL Rednecks read bedtime stories using their best "monster truck" voice.
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08-25-2011 15:48 by
Goodeolboy
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Upon receiving my new Thai Bride, I was appalled by the warning that came with the instructions: - "This product may contain nuts"
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08-25-2011 15:41 by
@clarkysj
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If you want to insure you work in the field, bring something that needs to be microwaved for lunch :/
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08-25-2011 15:34 by
Goodeolboy
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My girlfriend said, "I don't know if six inches is gonna be enough for me." Thank God we were at Subway when she said it!
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08-25-2011 15:31 by
Mike M
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you know your a redneck if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!
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08-25-2011 15:30
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I wait for my cat. His litter box is right beside our toilet. When he shows up we do a synchronized poop, high five and then share a can of tuna.
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08-25-2011 15:24
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ok....am I the only one that sings "Come on Irene" laughs then knows I shouldnt?
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08-25-2011 15:00 by
paulb808
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the worst kind of illness is the kind others do not see, or choose not to. Only when it's too late do they realize their ignorance.
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08-25-2011 14:33
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I hate when somebody claims they are mad at you but won't tell you why.
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08-25-2011 14:00 by
KISSTOPHER
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Nobody is perfect, but don't use that excuse to cover up your mistakes and stupidity.
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08-25-2011 13:56 by
NO BODY
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I think if I ever had to get an X-ray on my leg or something, I'd hide a piece of metal under my clothes that looks like a ninja star. Then I'd casually say "Oh that's an old battle wound..."
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08-25-2011 13:49
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What did the left pu$$y lip say to the other? We used to be so tight until we let some d*ck come between us.
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08-25-2011 13:46 by
BAD GUY
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I'm not saying your opinion is stupid, I'm just saying you're stupid for having it
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08-25-2011 13:45
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you know my phone battery kinda lasts a lot longer now that I don't have a girl freind .
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08-25-2011 13:22 by
mr ballywo0d
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