Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   today was alot like my X girlfriend... cold and miserable

   The VMA's is the only day out of every year that MTV pretends to care about music.. Then its back to the pregnant teens, jersey people in italy, and sweet 16 birthday parties

   No I didn't watch the VMA. I was unaware MTV EVEN showed music videos anymore

   Lady Gaga says her fans are monsters.Really? Then how come the Wolfman hates her guts?

   This hotel has the worst mini-bar. All the little bottles of booze taste like shampoo.

   I walk into the 7/11, and the female clerk says, "You look JUST like my fourth husband!" I said, "Really...you've been married four times?' She goes, "No. Three."

   Have you ever thought about the fact that Mr. Krabs lives in Bikini Bottom?

   So Lady Gaga, goes to the VMA's as alter ego Jo Calderon. I guess the thought of her being a Denny's menu item was not manly enough...!

   Disappointed that Lady Gaga did not show up this year at the VMA's, I was really looking forward to my Grand Slam.

   Maybe Beyonce should have put a NuvaRing on it.

   Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

   When I'm drunk, my phone should say "are you sure you want to send this text?"

   heard Chaz Bono insisted he be paired with a female partner on "Dancing With The Stars" so ABC immediately went out and got Richard Simmons!

   Lil Wayne will not be upstaged by the Carter/Knowles clan tonight. When he brings Drake out to announce Drakes pregnant by him.

   So i'm heading down to the ballgame with my 2 buddies, and some guy says to me: "are they going too". I replied: "No, there just coming to sit in the car while I watch the game"... Why do people stupidly state the obvious?

   You keep me humble, you catch my stumble and you never let me crumble!

   congratulations on your 100th problem jay-z!

   ‎Lady Gaga came as a man ... Nicki Minaj came as GaGa & Jay-Z Came inside Beyoncé.... *LIKE* this if you agree LMAO.... :D

   Now completely convinced that Lady-Man GaGa is a dude..

   Just watched the MTV VMA's. Was it just me or did Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars look like brothers?