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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I was working out the other day and ''Rolling In The Deep'' came on. I think it was the first time Adele's ever been in a gym.
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09-04-2011 20:44
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My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
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09-04-2011 19:55 by
Aaron
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I just saw a "Git-R-Done" bumper sticker on a Prius and I don't know what's real anymore.
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09-04-2011 19:34 by
Hot Tea
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I don't run away from my problems so much as I let them go on ahead without me.
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09-04-2011 19:33 by
Hot Tea
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People who remove the the vowels to text..why don't you do us all a favor and remove the consonants too?
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09-04-2011 19:33 by
Marshall the Great
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And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself: Did I remember to clear my browser history?
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09-04-2011 19:32 by
Hot Tea
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Ten folded ones in my left pants pocket, four buffalo chicken wings bones in my right pants pocket and empty mini bottles scattered around the house... apparently I had fun last night.
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09-04-2011 19:22 by
Marshall the Great
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You know these pagers they give you to let you know when you table's ready? They make great coasters when you steal them.
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09-04-2011 19:20 by
Marshall the Great
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Foot fetishes are for men who don't know what boobs are, right?
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09-04-2011 19:18 by
Marshall the Great
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Borrow your girlfriend's pink slippers just to go check the mail and everybody in the whole damn community will stop by to chat. True story. FML
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09-04-2011 19:08 by
Marshall the Great
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When I broke up with my ex girlfriend she threatened to kill herself. One year later she got married. Close enough.
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09-04-2011 19:05 by
Marshall the Great
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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS !!! 1. Hold your breath for 10 minutes. 2. Die.
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09-04-2011 18:35
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With all the technology now you'd figure power rangers would have better graphics....
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09-04-2011 18:27
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You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
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09-04-2011 18:10
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Well I can't be an optimistic if my blood type is " B NEGATIVE "
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09-04-2011 17:53
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I accidentally took 4 Ativan pills but I'm surprisingly not all that worried.
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09-04-2011 17:26
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waiting for MTV to make a sequel to go along with the "16 and Pregnant" series, 32 and a Grandma.
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09-04-2011 17:20
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What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.
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09-04-2011 16:50 by
The Nun
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What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic: USE a feather. Kinky: Use the whole chicken
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09-04-2011 16:47 by
MTQ
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Good Idea: Trying to talk your way out of a ticket Bad Idea: Telling the cop that he/she is very attractive, and that's not just the booze talking.
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09-04-2011 16:18 by
@cdowney84
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