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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Last night I was two women shy of having a threesome...
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09-07-2011 02:20 by
misterannihilator
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It's just amazing how much has changed since we got bin Laden.
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09-07-2011 02:15 by
Doc Noland
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You simply have not lived until your dad's sperm fertilizes your mother's egg.
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09-07-2011 01:29 by
Doc Noland
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You Cant Tell Me Casey Anthony and Kreayshawn DON'T look alike.
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09-07-2011 01:15
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Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate
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09-07-2011 01:11
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Sarah Palin said, "Polls are for strippers." Cute. Guess what Grandma? Birth control pills are for teenagers.
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09-07-2011 01:04 by
Doc Noland
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In other news Apple bans apples from all grocery stores.
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09-07-2011 00:49
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really need to stop phoning my mobile to find out where I've put it then thinking “Oooh, missed call!” when I find it. What a dumbass
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09-06-2011 23:03
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Cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who the fock am I kidding....I'm watching ESPN and having a beer(s)
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09-06-2011 22:56
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The next Bond title already causing controversy. "Pissypants Fingerbang".
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09-06-2011 22:50
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I nicknamed my legs ‘options' because I like to keep them open.
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09-06-2011 22:07 by
A is for me
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My Grandfather died at Auschwitz.......he got drunk and fell out of a guard tower
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09-06-2011 21:56 by
Banjaxed
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Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.
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09-06-2011 21:55
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If you ask for my opinion, don't get upset when I give it to you.
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09-06-2011 21:25 by
glt23
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This girl was staring at me while licking her lips and I thought to myself 'Wow! She's really flexible.'
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09-06-2011 21:10
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Anyone else think Ashley on "Hardcore Pawn" comes off as such a C you Next Tuesday?
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09-06-2011 21:08
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When I put sea salt on fish, I wonder if they may already know each other.
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09-06-2011 21:02
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I'm feeling a little superheroish, so tonight I'm wearing my speedo on top of my jeans when I go out.
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09-06-2011 20:40
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In life, success is determined by the amount of sh!t you can take
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09-06-2011 20:38
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If the Dove is the bird of love, then the bird of birth control is the Swallow.
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09-06-2011 20:34 by
@cdowney84
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