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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The only yoga stretch I have perfected is the yawn.
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09-13-2011 12:05 by
Bobo The Chimp
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Just burped a raptor call..
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09-13-2011 12:05
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¡¡¡ ʎɐʍʎuɐ ʎɐpɥʇɹıq ʎddɐɥ llǝʍ ˙pǝxıɟ ɹǝʇndɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇǝƃ ɐʇʇoƃ ı ʍou ʇnq ʇuǝsǝɹd ɐ noʎ ʇǝƃ oʇ ʎǝuoɯ ɐɹʇxǝ ǝɯos pɐɥ ı ˙ʎppnq ʎɹɹos
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09-13-2011 12:03 by
JBabcock
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God-damnit, you are giving me attitude, stress, grief, heartache and you are not even my girlfriend.
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09-13-2011 12:00
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"This is your status update.sƃnɹp uo ǝʇɐpdn snʇɐʇs ɹnoʎ sı sıɥʇ. Any questions?"- Nancy Reagan
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09-13-2011 11:33 by
JBabcock
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Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
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09-13-2011 11:16 by
SuthernFukr
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I thank, therefore you're welcome.
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09-13-2011 11:15 by
SuthernFukr
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The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
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09-13-2011 11:15 by
SuthernFukr
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Tired apostrophes risk falling into a comma.
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09-13-2011 11:14 by
SuthernFukr
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Poodles aren't as absorbent as they look.
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09-13-2011 11:13 by
SuthernFukr
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sure I can see the glass as half full,,,of crap!
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09-13-2011 11:09
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Even my pet rock has followers on Twitter proving that Twitter is for retards.
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09-13-2011 10:57
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3 Tampons are walking down the street, Maxi, Slim, and Ultra. Which one says "Hello"? None, they're all stuck up c**ts!!!
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09-13-2011 10:55 by
MTQ
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Never laugh at your wife's choices. You are one of them !!
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09-13-2011 09:29 by
Sankalp Sharma
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No matter what I do, I cannot get any kudos from my girlfriend. If I walked on water she'd say, "What, you can't swim?"
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09-13-2011 08:17 by
MTQ
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The only thing I don't like about fat is that it doesn't have any sugar in it.
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09-13-2011 08:14 by
AnnaMariaPastaFazoola
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I am not looking for a Princess, I am just waiting for a woman who thinks I am a prince.
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09-13-2011 08:00
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Attention womanizer! Myspace is the best place to hide your secret from your love ones!
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09-13-2011 07:37
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When a guy opens the door of his car for a girl, you can be sure of one thing, either the girl is new or the car is.
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09-13-2011 07:36 by
Mick F
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My girl told me she was miserable in our relationship. She said she lost 10 lbs. I asked her if it was over and she said, "Not yet, I want to lose 15."
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09-13-2011 06:11 by
Mick F
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