Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I don't call it being lazy. Using texts to get the kids to bring me up more beer is why they call it a smartphone.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 09:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever worry that the sensors on those automatic toilets are actually little video cameras? Bet you are now.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 09:32 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook -- a place to indulge your ADD and OCD all in one place.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 09:22 by AlliB513 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its funny that when you put a depressing status on Facebook some people actually like it?.. "Im feeling down and going to jump off a bridge" ... 10 people like this?..WTF!!!
←Rate | 09-30-2011 08:53 by Memz Comments (1)  


   messageicon Here's to the moments when we throw caution out of the window, cross our fingers and hoped for the best.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good morning Friday...tell your pal Monday he needs to come around here tomorrow so all my friends can get back to work so they don't forget how great it is to work for a living.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 06:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a sign that said "Deaf Children Drive Carefully". I didn't know they drove at all.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 06:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My predictive text dictionary doesn't have "tsunami", so if you ever get a text from me that says "trumang" start running
←Rate | 09-30-2011 06:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever get arrested, my one phone call will be to the police station to do a bomb scare. I'm not spending the night there
←Rate | 09-30-2011 06:13 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is just a reminder that your left leg and yo right leg are not at war. Please re-unite them.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 05:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon she said I don't give my number to strangers and I'm like we have been facebook friends for like 1 week already..lol
←Rate | 09-30-2011 04:31 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I beat my girl at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 04:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon BOY: Hey dad I got a girlfriend DAD: Good job son! GIRL: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend DAD: Where the hell is my gun?
←Rate | 09-30-2011 04:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's hope karma is a bigger b!$#h than they ever were.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 02:38 by Pinx Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hell, you have to find the start to scotch tape over and over
←Rate | 09-30-2011 01:36 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The word of the day is..... SupercalifragilisticexpialiDOUCHBAG.
←Rate | 09-30-2011 01:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexican Word of the Day: TISSUE. Usage: Hey vato ju doing it wrong, lemmie tissue how to Dougie !
←Rate | 09-30-2011 01:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is always at least one HATER that dislikes --->SMH
←Rate | 09-30-2011 00:02 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon girls are like math, if there under 13 do them in your head.
←Rate | 09-29-2011 23:38 by natemorales Comments (0)  


   messageicon It never ceases to amaze me how people will try to bring you down when you're on your way up. Two words for those soul suckers, fah q!
←Rate | 09-29-2011 23:15 by Xana Comments (0)  



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