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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Something is wrong with you - if you are having sex to gospel music.
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09-16-2011 06:13
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Women always say 'all men want is sex' ....that's a lie. They want head too.
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09-16-2011 06:12
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I got first draft in my fantasy foosball team. Once again, my top pick: the plastic dude with the metal rod through his torso.
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09-16-2011 06:10 by
flinnie
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If you want to see the power of a good woman, look at her husband and his success in the world!
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09-16-2011 03:36
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My one and only wish is for all the pretty lesbians to turn straight and all the ugly lesbians to remain lesbians.
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09-16-2011 03:34
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I hate when I don't forward a chain letter and the next day I die.
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09-16-2011 02:06 by
whitecube387
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"There's plenty of fish in the sea", "Well that's cool, but I'm human."
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09-16-2011 01:53
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That moment of panic when after talking to someone on your cell phone you go on to badmouth them only to realise you forgot to hang up.
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09-16-2011 01:41
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Hey what's your sign, "Pyrex", ...........I was a test tube baby.:)
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09-16-2011 01:32
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I'd rather live my life knowing and accepting that I'm not perfect, rather than spend my whole life pretending to be perfect.
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09-16-2011 01:02
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I will never change who I am for anyone. If you cant accept me the way I am, I will find someone else who will.
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09-16-2011 00:59
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2.Two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester cheats picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!
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09-16-2011 00:55 by
david909
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We have all been walked on, taken for granted, forgotten, used and abused at some point in our lives. For the strong ones, life goes on, for the weak ones, life goes to waste.
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09-16-2011 00:52
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As I said before, I never repeat myself.
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09-16-2011 00:47 by
david909
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The statement to th right is true..the statment to the left is false
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09-16-2011 00:46 by
david909
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I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.
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09-16-2011 00:44 by
david909
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Buying 12 cases of diet soda a week is defeating the purpose of diet soda
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09-16-2011 00:02 by
Jon m
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I like Cee Lo's "Forget You," but it doesn't compare to N.W.A.'s "Forget Tha Police"
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09-15-2011 23:32 by
Doc Noland
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"Women are such mysterious creatures. Beautiful unsolvable mysteries. Like them big alien crop circles........... but with nipples"
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09-15-2011 23:13
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what can I say? Life doesn't get much better than beer and pancakes after midnight :)
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09-15-2011 21:59 by
@mollyfaerie
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