Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4426 of 5593

   messageicon My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician!!
←Rate | 10-04-2011 12:11 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon just sneezed out a huge snot bubble in front of a client, so I panicked, sucked it back up my nose, and yelled "TA-DA!". Good save?
←Rate | 10-04-2011 11:26 by michelle Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your Proctologist called and left a message, they found your head!
←Rate | 10-04-2011 11:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if lining up beers in my refrigerator will ever stop being exciting
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:45 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate long walks on beaches, picnics suck, dinner and a movie costs too much, I expect my woman to make me a sandwich, bring me a beer and not say a word while I'm watching the game.~ Honest guys eHarmny profile
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The road less traveled does not have 3G. I'm turning around.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:38 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon After exposure to the cast of 'Jersey Shore' an Italian Jury has decided that Amanda Knox isn't so bad after all.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spanked myself twice before I left the house today so if you see me being naughty, chill out; I've dealt with it.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:36 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm allergic to photos of your cat.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't Facebook your problems, FACE THEM!
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If ants are so busy, why do they go to so many picnics?
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:29 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Received a wrong number call at 6am. I now have them on speed dial to drunk dial at 2am.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always hit "ignore call" with my middle finger.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that." - Life
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how sometimes you can just tell when someone's had enough of you for one day, so you back off and leave them alone? Me neither.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon i write like this and not "lYk DiS" because I'm an adult and I'm not retarded
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates people that take drugs… customs for example
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I'm yours.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 10:16 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left