Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Facebook is like a spouse: when you think you have it all figured out, it completely changes

   Facebook is like women: when you think you have it all figured out, it completely changes.

   Facebook has made changes, yes. Some good and bad but after all this still no {DISLIKE} button.......sh!t

   i'm not going to complain about Facebook changes until it starts billing me a seperate charge of $8 each month to deliver by mail my statuses on DVD

   confuse why Mr R had to bring out the solider card on the site because people complaining bout FB my bro law over in Iraq complaining about the new FB shut the eff up haha

   as "Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" (WINE), "Radioactive UnWORK Medicine"(RUM), "Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter"(BEER) or "Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen"(VODKA). Please re-post to raise awareness."

   A highly dangerous virus called "Weekly Overload Recreational Killer" (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus, you should immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center to take antidotes known

   confused by all the people I've seen today complaining about of all things FACEBOOK...if this is your biggest problem today I'm sure thousands of soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan would gladly take your problem over what they're dealing with.

   DEAR FACEBOOK I understand the need to change w/ the times but too much too fast. if you keep myspace-ing we are all gonna google the hell out of here.

   I'm about to rewrite history. History.

   Hey Facebook, Now look what you have done, You've invented "MYSPACE".

   I don't remember if the toilet water was blue or not before I sat down, so there's a chance I'm magical.

   Every time I see a girl I went to college with, I ask her if we had sex and we laugh and laugh and laugh and then I welcome her to Walmart.

   I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..

   That mini heart attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket!

   Workin' hard or hardly saying anything original?

   I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.

   Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.

   Don't you hate it when people just randomly tag you in their Facebook post!?

   Casey Anthony not guilty, Troy Davis being executed...Everybody Hates Chris but Everybody Love Raymond..smh..who says it ain't bout color ?