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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Every girl has a slutty friend. If you don't, then you are the slutty friend.
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10-08-2011 03:18
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Its amazing how the people with no job always have a bag of weed on them.
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10-08-2011 03:14
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Did you thank God for not looking like Rick Ross or Chris Bosh today?
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10-08-2011 03:11
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My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL."
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10-08-2011 02:11 by
ambii
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Obama quit smoking for his health? Dude the diseases you catch from screwing the entire country is gunna kill you first
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10-08-2011 01:54 by
stuklikechuk
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$2.75 Trojans or $19.99 Huggies?? You make the decision.
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10-08-2011 00:19
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The number one lie in the whole world is...i swear I will love you forever..
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10-07-2011 23:10 by
BEGO
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Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.
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10-07-2011 23:00 by
BEGO
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My gym bag is so funny. Today it was like “What does the outside of your car trunk look like?” and “What's a gym?”
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10-07-2011 22:59
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Don't you hate when your friends embarrass you in front of your real friends
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10-07-2011 22:45
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What kind of jerk would put a cat in a bag? I'm just so relieved it's out.
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10-07-2011 22:41
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Tries to make his burps sounds like a Transformer.
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10-07-2011 22:05
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I've given up looking for my soulmate. Just looking for a holemate now.
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10-07-2011 22:03
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The Running Man may no longer be a trendy dance move but it's still a totally great way to get out of a boring conversation.
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10-07-2011 21:56
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walked into a woman on the street today which is weird because va-ginas aren't usually that big...
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10-07-2011 21:50
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I'm gonna go all Kazoo solo and Haiku Freestyle on the next person that says I'm not Gangsta!!!
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10-07-2011 17:59 by
migasjoe
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Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
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10-07-2011 17:36 by
Mick F
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obama first black to go in the white house wiith out a brush
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10-07-2011 16:55
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I'm going to go protest corporations todmorrow. I'll wear my shirt from Macy's, grab my Cannon camera, hop in my Jeep® Grand Cherokee Laredo and tell my friends on facebook® (via my iPhone) to join me! (We'll be meetin up afterward at Starbucks)
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10-07-2011 16:39 by
Jay Son
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You might be a redneck if ya get divorced, re married and still have the same "in law's"
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10-07-2011 15:55
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