Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 23:00 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon My gym bag is so funny. Today it was like “What does the outside of your car trunk look like?” and “What's a gym?”
←Rate | 10-07-2011 22:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate when your friends embarrass you in front of your real friends
←Rate | 10-07-2011 22:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What kind of jerk would put a cat in a bag? I'm just so relieved it's out.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 22:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tries to make his burps sounds like a Transformer.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've given up looking for my soulmate. Just looking for a holemate now.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 22:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Running Man may no longer be a trendy dance move but it's still a totally great way to get out of a boring conversation.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon walked into a woman on the street today which is weird because va-ginas aren't usually that big...
←Rate | 10-07-2011 21:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna go all Kazoo solo and Haiku Freestyle on the next person that says I'm not Gangsta!!!
←Rate | 10-07-2011 17:59 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 17:36 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon obama first black to go in the white house wiith out a brush
←Rate | 10-07-2011 16:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to go protest corporations todmorrow. I'll wear my shirt from Macy's, grab my Cannon camera, hop in my Jeep® Grand Cherokee Laredo and tell my friends on facebook® (via my iPhone) to join me! (We'll be meetin up afterward at Starbucks)
←Rate | 10-07-2011 16:39 by Jay Son Comments (0)  


   messageicon You might be a redneck if ya get divorced, re married and still have the same "in law's"
←Rate | 10-07-2011 15:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm dating a woman that's half my height... I'm nuts over her
←Rate | 10-07-2011 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you call a white man surrounded by 500 black men...."Warden"
←Rate | 10-07-2011 15:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look just cuz I wont go by you tampons doesn't mean I don't love you...Hell didn't I buy you like 3 rolls of Bounty...That's called a Compromise...
←Rate | 10-07-2011 15:08 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's hilarious how infomercials and product commercials make simple tasks such as draining pasta or cleaning toilets seem like life-threatening obstacles.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 14:19 by phoenix1029 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone asks "Know what I'm sayin'?" simply recall the thing they JUST SAID & you can "know what they're sayin'."
←Rate | 10-07-2011 14:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
←Rate | 10-07-2011 14:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm about sick of passwords! Pretty soon you'll need one to take a piss. ..oh, you have to use the bathroom- what's your password and user id
←Rate | 10-07-2011 13:51 Comments (0)  



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