Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   People will soon be saying "google plus me" instead of "facebook me" ... Smh

   was all, "I'LL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND! YOU HEAR ME?!?" and she was like, "Ma'am, the dipping sauce is *under* your McNuggets."

   *Solution to fix the problems you have with the new Facebook setup* First click the down arrow upper right corner, then click "Account Settings", then go to "security", select "deactivate account", small form to fill out, then confirm. Then go outside.

   No matter how funny you are, If I don't like you, I won't laugh.

   Almost went to jail today, scared the crap out of me. Yeah, those monopoly games get pretty intense bro.

   Condoms should change to different colors according to whatever disease they come in contact with.

   I only drink on two occasions; when its my birthday and when its not.

   Aaaaaahhhhhh.....Friday.....time for the Beer-Goggle Olympics. But be careful single peeps, 'cuz once the sun comes up, you COULD find yourself in a bad horror movie. WHOOP!! Have a GREAT weekend!!

   Real friends share the same enemies.

   FYI - If you find bit of the satellite, you have to call the police and someone from NASA (prob Bruce Willis) will come over to collect it, apparently!......

   I just saw Tom from MySpace on Google +... You know the site sux when the sites creator hauls a$$!

   If Starbucks delivered, the world would be a better place!

   hoping for the falling satellite to hit the entire cast of Jersey Shore.

   Hey guy's, don't forget to clear your browser history every 5 minutes just in case that satellite hits you......

   On a scale of 1-10 I give this day a middle finger

   Unfollow, Unfriend, & Delete are the Stop, Drop & Roll safety instructions when it comes to the internet's most annoying people.

   if NASA scientists are so smart, why didnt they pay attention to physics...what goes up must come down

   Just had a very positive experience with Verizon Customer Service. What the hell is this world coming to?

   Now that "Don't Ask Don't Tell" is repealed, is it okay to admit I like the song "Drops of Jupiter?"

   Your call to action went straight to voicemail.