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You know what I really hate? When I miss someones call by a few minutes and when I call back they don't answer
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09-23-2011 22:54 by
BEGO
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I hate it when teachers say, “You think it's funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn't I wouldn't be laughing…
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09-23-2011 22:53 by
BEGO
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Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
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09-23-2011 22:52 by
BEGO
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I removed my windshield wipers and now I don't get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
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09-23-2011 22:07 by
SuthernFukr
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My advice for pretty much anything that's broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
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09-23-2011 22:06 by
SuthernFukr
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Just got off the phone with my bookie. If the space junk hits any of the members of Nickelback I will be a very wealthy man.
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09-23-2011 22:05 by
SuthernFukr
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"You are very squishy. So I shall name you squishy. And you shall be my little squishy."
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09-23-2011 21:49 by
tarahsince1991
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Couldn't afford a butterfly knife, so I got a caterpillar one. Now, I wait.
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09-23-2011 21:46 by
Aaron
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I'm creeped out by the Hamburger Helper glove. "Hi, I'm a dismembered hand here to help out with dinner." No thanks.
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09-23-2011 21:24
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If you wear diapers.. I'm pretty sure you're a liberal
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09-23-2011 20:47
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Dude calls into work and says to the boss, 'I'm calling in sick', the boss says, 'how sick are you', dude says, 'I'm in bed with my sister, you be the judge'.
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09-23-2011 20:45
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Dear Facebook...All we asked for was a Dislike button.. Not more options on how to stalk people!
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09-23-2011 20:02
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Wow The ones u'd take a bullet for are the ones holding the trigger!!
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09-23-2011 19:40 by
CJ
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Jeeze! You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore! FML!
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09-23-2011 19:38 by
topdawg
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Q.) What's the speed limit of s3x? A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.
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09-23-2011 18:50 by
MTQ
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Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
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09-23-2011 18:14 by
Keyboard Smasher 5000
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We just got a new toaster...And of course my impatient a$$ bf would try n stick a knife inside of it to get the bread out...
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09-23-2011 17:57
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I'm easily influenced... That's why I try not to watch too much porn
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09-23-2011 17:31 by
Sader
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If you judge a book by it's cover, you are likely going to miss out on a great story!
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09-23-2011 17:25 by
@BoyGotJokes
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#1 Bullsht: It's NEVER too late... Well, sometimes IT IS too late. Call them lessons learned.
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09-23-2011 17:22 by
Amanda nocito
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