Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon sometimes watch birds and wonder “If I could fly who would I sh*t on?”
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mark your calendar - Valentines weekend, 2013. Die Hard 5: A Good Day to Die Hard.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I encourage more people to become hipsters. Eventually, it will make them mainstream and the self loathing can truly begin.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:16 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is everyone complaining, my Blackberry is working just fine, holding all the papers down on my desk.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great news for BlackBerry users: a solution has been emailed to you.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon overheard at walmart ; customer service needed in the sporting goods, we have a customer by the balls.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 14:44 by srpdrzman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time I touched a nice ass was when my hand went through the toilet paper
←Rate | 10-12-2011 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon in the future i'm gonna be telling my kids "back in my day we sat the DVD player on top of the tv"
←Rate | 10-12-2011 14:13 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just seen an advert for a cruise offering "ocean views". That's a shame, I wanted to stare at the f-kin engine for a week!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 14:13 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 14:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, it wasn't always called bipolar. It once was called "being a b!tch"
←Rate | 10-12-2011 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many of my friends out there update their status' on their Blackberrys?....well?....Hello....<crickets>
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:57 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Blackberry, I think it's nice that your honering Steve Jobs death with a 3 day silence.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When something bad happens you have 3 choices, You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:28 by Master Weeg Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just spent some time manscaping. Planning to donate to 'Locks for Love'.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:23 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should be able to Text 911, you know, just in case you're hiding from a serial killer and can't talk.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Should I wear my top up... or down ... or up... or possibly... tucked in?
←Rate | 10-12-2011 13:07 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I cut a chunk out of my thumb at work today.HALF-DAY, BOOYAH!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon " IDK Google it " When your kid asks you a question you know nothing about.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon $1200 for a redbone hound pup....fn puppy pimps!!!
←Rate | 10-12-2011 12:43 Comments (0)  



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