Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon i think we should go to Zuccoti Park in the morning to record how the cops are gonna mistreat the protester!!!!
←Rate | 10-13-2011 22:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should feed tuna fish mayonnaise, thereby saving a step in the sandwich making process
←Rate | 10-13-2011 21:51 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every year at this time I question who decided this Halloween candy is the "Fun" size. These people must really live a boring existence.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 21:36 by rick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its a bit awkward when you don't realize how many curse words and sexual innuendos a song has in it until you're in the car listening to it...with your grandma
←Rate | 10-13-2011 20:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you do when your three year old is clinging? Toss her in the dryer with some fabric softener of course!
←Rate | 10-13-2011 20:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon school sux more d than the girls that attend it
←Rate | 10-13-2011 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally slept with my HS Crush but it's kind of weird now because she wants me to go to her graduation.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 19:54 by Brian_Allen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you're right, but you're the only person in the room that knows it, so as far as everyone is concerned, you're just wrong.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 19:21 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blackberry must be a woman cause only a woman can ignore you for 3 days straight and then pretend nothing was wrong.. Next time I will buy a Louis Vuitton cover so she starts talking again.. :-)
←Rate | 10-13-2011 19:15 by Laurent B.. Comments (0)  


   messageicon IPods: where 8 GB of memory really means 6.46.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 19:09 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though they have no use for them, guys would look kinda weird without nipples.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 19:01 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems like in movies, when they want a female to look older, they just cut her hair.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If somebody does a backflip, they automatically become a bada$$.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 7 billion people in this world, don't let one ruin your day.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:35 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A relationship is like standing on wet cement..The longer you stand the more difficult is to leave & even if you leave, you leave your footprints behind.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:27 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman interviewing me for a job, was hot, but a real b!tch. She goes, "Are you bi-lingual?" I didn't even want the job at this point, so I said, "Yes, I can lick ur pu$$y and ur a$$hole. "SECURITY!!!!"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:26 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Owls make good pets because they're always interested in your social life. You tell it "guess who I went to the movies with" and it always asks"who?"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It sucks whenever you hear a song you really like in public but you don't know the name of it.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:20 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "If you want to fly, you got to give up the sh*t that weighs you down!"
←Rate | 10-13-2011 18:02 by @kraziedavid909 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know if I walked in to the wrong restroom, but it smells like fish in the men's room.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 17:26 by Geez Comments (0)  



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