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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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This Crest 3d whitening toothpaste didn't come with the glasses.
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10-14-2011 18:59
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It takes 2 to tangle- Headphones!
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10-14-2011 18:56
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When George Washington got carded he just pulled out a quarter.
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10-14-2011 18:38
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Did ya ever want to throw a breath mint in someone's mouth while they were talking?
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10-14-2011 18:22
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Fridge full of food= nothing to eat. Drawer full of clothes= nothing to wear. Internet full of sites=only on Facebook.
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10-14-2011 18:21
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Whoever decided this Halloween candy is the "fun" size is not someone I care to party with.
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10-14-2011 18:12 by
Rick H.
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That akward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you..
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10-14-2011 18:01 by
Aaron
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misery is God's way of letting you know your on track!
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10-14-2011 18:00
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CNN: The most "rusted name in news".
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10-14-2011 17:54
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I'm thinking about calling child protective services on Mother Nature.
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10-14-2011 17:50
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Captain dislike came through and hated all the funny things he cant come up with... some one get the bad news bear some f**kin honey
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10-14-2011 17:36 by
OsamaBinDead
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i hate how I walk by the computer and forget what I was planning on doing and instanly check here and facebook lol.
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10-14-2011 17:07 by
@kraziedavid909
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if I was any more fun I'd be boobs and bubble wrap
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10-14-2011 17:04 by
mustangdru
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why buy a 6-pack when you can buy a 12-pack, why buy a 12-pack when you can buy a 24-pack.... screw it, I'm gettin a handle of jack
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10-14-2011 17:01 by
OsamaBinDead
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Most common lie used by women.... "I dont usually do this the first night"
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10-14-2011 16:49 by
OsamaBinDead
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If you can make just ONE person smile, then you're probably a really bad comedian.
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10-14-2011 16:39 by
Marshall the Great
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I took a sh!t this morning. TMI? Yeah well I don't want to read about how in love you are with your boyfriend of the week either.
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10-14-2011 16:38 by
Marshall the Great
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Okay, in case we get caught... lets get our stories straight
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10-14-2011 16:37 by
OsamaBinDead
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F*CK! I'm so drunk that I cooked a pizza for 450 minutes at 15 degrees.
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10-14-2011 16:31 by
Marshall the Great
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WOMEN ARE EVIL! WOMEN suck! Oh that reminds me... women are soft... ooh and warm and wet and... what was I b!tching about? Damn women!!!
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10-14-2011 16:30 by
Marshall the Great
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