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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If ants are so busy, why do they go to so many picnics?
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10-04-2011 10:29 by
SuthernFukr
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Received a wrong number call at 6am. I now have them on speed dial to drunk dial at 2am.
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10-04-2011 10:23 by
Marshall the Great
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I always hit "ignore call" with my middle finger.
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10-04-2011 10:22 by
Marshall the Great
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"You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that." - Life
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10-04-2011 10:21 by
Marshall the Great
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You know how sometimes you can just tell when someone's had enough of you for one day, so you back off and leave them alone? Me neither.
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10-04-2011 10:20 by
Marshall the Great
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i write like this and not "lYk DiS" because I'm an adult and I'm not retarded
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10-04-2011 10:20
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hates people that take drugs… customs for example
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10-04-2011 10:19
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My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
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10-04-2011 10:17
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Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I'm yours.
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10-04-2011 10:16
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Lazy rule #1257687895 : You so lazy you didn't complete reading the number!
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10-04-2011 10:15
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I personally think that Hank Jr is just laying the groundwork for a stint on Dancing With the Stars........
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10-04-2011 09:39 by
bill
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The worst part about the Hank Williams Jr remarks and backlash is that Toby Keith will most likely write a song about it now....
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10-04-2011 08:31 by
sully
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Look. If there's a chick wearing a dog collar in her profile pic, she's got a friend request coming from me. Period.
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10-04-2011 08:26 by
Mick F
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4 shots of 5 hour energy this morning, not only do I look like I have Parkinsons, but I can actually see sound waves resonating when people talk to me.
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10-04-2011 08:14 by
SEAN
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Q. What's DNA stand for? A. National Dyslexics Association
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10-04-2011 08:03 by
Mick F
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Tomorrow is not guaranteed - and that applies to relationships too. Love for today for tomorrow you may break up.
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10-04-2011 07:53
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Strive to make your dreams and your reality one and the same!
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10-04-2011 04:46
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A true love story has no ending, pauses yes, but no ending.
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10-04-2011 04:32
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It's sad to see how people seem to put more effort into their wedding than they do into their marriage.
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10-04-2011 04:28
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If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you're angry about oxygen and numbers.
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10-04-2011 04:25
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