Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   When someone ends their posts with "just sayin" I would love to smack the sh!t out of them and poke their eyeballs out with an ice pick....other than that I am having a great day!!

   Gadaffi will take many secrets to his grave: dirt he had on Bush; dirt he had on Blair, but also how to spell his name correctly.....

   Its a pity Gadhafi died without revealing' where he bought all those cool sunglasses....smh

   "When you put a Sea-shell up to your ear, you can hear the ocean" ..... Duh! Hey Dumb a$$, why don't you drop the shell that you just picked up off the beach and turn around? *tada* there's the ocean......Shhhhhhhh.......now listen.

   Guys you ever look down at the urinal and think “Oh man I am huge!!” Then realize you have your reading glasses on? Me neither.

   For Halloween I'm going as laundry, women love doing laundry.

   My wife texted me something about a colonel being dead. I already sent a condolence letter to KFC.

   Dating Rule #7: When on a first date a gentleman always lets his lady have the Burger King crown...Cuz it will make her feel special....

   Bye Bye Moammar!.....Hussein☑ Bin Laden ☑ Ghadafi ☑ Nancy Pelosi ☐ ツ

   RIP Khaddafi. Also, RIP Qaddafi. And let us not forget: RIP Ghaddafi. And just to be safe, RIP Caddaphee.

   Mmmk....can we please have cheaper gasoline now that Ghaddafi is dead?

   TWILIGHT - Breaking Dawn Part 1: how can a guy that is basically dead get a woman pregnant? when he turned into a vampire shouldn't his sperm turn to dust like Hugh Hefner?

   It's the postproduction phase of eating fast food that takes the expierience all downhill.

   Remember these 3 words and you'll always have money: Stick-em-up!

   I wonder what happened to those sexy female bodyguards of Ghaddafi.

   Carlos Santana just announced his song "You've got to change your evil ways" is blaring at Gadaffi's grave.

   The mad dog of the Middle East is now the stray dog of Hell's streets.

   Carlos Santana wanna be, oops, I mean Muammar Gaddafi, is dead.

   ‎1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother George. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's George.

   Women like silent men... they think they're listening!