Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon They say money doesn't buy happiness but I'd rather cry in a Ferrari
←Rate | 10-26-2011 12:04 by RenRen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before you kill yourself can you give me your Facebook password so that I can continue to post st@tus upd@tes after you are gone and scare the sh!t out of your friends.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 11:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, I'll admit it. I was one of those kids that took more than one candy bar while trick or treating from the houses that had those naive "Please just take one" baskets
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor Oz: When a woman goes for too long without sex, she loses feelings in her clitoris. You heard the good doctor ladies...
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess what? I'm dead. And if you think I stunk before, you should get a whiff of me now.-Ghadafi
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:29 by M. Ghadafi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay...Who else keeps clicking the "Help Center" tab instead of "Log Out"? Facebook's just keeping us on our toes, and driving us out of our minds.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CORONER: Amy Winehouse died from too much alcohol. hmmm alcohol kills and is legal but weed doesn't kill and is illegal hmmmm
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you people would GET OFF THE PHONE you could drive better!
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ■The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 10:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite statement to hear from a person walking by: "Hey, sorry, my phone does wierd things to me"
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clemson Vs Georgia Tech this weekend........ Up for Clemson....... Down for Georgia Tech
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Great news! My Halloween book, "Fun-Sizing Your Way to Diabetes," is now available on the Kindle!
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The truth shall set you free... if you have a spare $100,000 for legal fees.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want to lose "friends"....tell the truth.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:40 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some peoples confidence is too close to arrogance to take them seriously
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit it, at one time in your life you went a public washroom and didnt wash your hands after because nobody else would see you
←Rate | 10-26-2011 09:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. F*cking act like it.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 08:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I shot someone with a starting pistol.I've been charged with race crimes
←Rate | 10-26-2011 08:45 by uncle buck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?
←Rate | 10-26-2011 08:43 by voltiare Comments (0)  


   messageicon just been given two weeks to live.The girlfriends gone away for a fortnight.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 08:42 by basketcase Comments (0)  



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