Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   a Guy to a Beggar: "I think you beg because you are just too lazy to find a job" Beggar: "I beg to differ"

   Being pretty doesn't mean sh!t if you are a ho.

   I guess in the shower Steven Tyler doesnt know how to "walk This Way: without falling down

   The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

   I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did

   Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H

   ‎2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f**k up!!!!

   You think 7 years for a mirror is bad try breaking a condom

   Just because you didn't "Like" it...Doesn't mean you didn't see it!

   !̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟͙̮͈̼̹̞͝ͅis ...Thats right I virtually cracked your screen ;P

   We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.

   I had a cab driver in Paris. The man smelled like a guy eating cheese while getting a permanent inside the septic tank of a slaughterhouse.

   I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

   My favorite animal is steak.

   It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

   I broke a mirror in my house, I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

   Candyland tastes like cardboard.

   Some people don't like Vietnemese food,but I don't know what they're complaining pho.

   It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.

   Cowboys at Eagles Sunday night. Up for Homo Romo to go down on the Eagles.