Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Leftover Chinese food makes a damn fine breakfast.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only got a toilet seat cushion so my face would be comfortable after an intense night of drinking
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thought I'd check in make sure you're all still remembering the Titans.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there's one thing that I've learned it's, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alex, I'll take WTF for a $1000
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The show "19 Kids and Counting" could easily be renamed "People Hoarders".
←Rate | 11-02-2011 17:00 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet if you put bacon bits on a bacon strip, you could travel back in time
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:59 by jaiya nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a new unit of measure which measures 72 days - a Kardash.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:55 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there! I've killed, like, 15 zombies already! How come they are all holding candy?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:45 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon We ignore those who need us and need those who ignore us....
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be a lady's man, not a ladies man.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:21 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Candy companies need to learn that making a candy bar and eighth of its original size does not make it "fun sized," it just makes more wrappers to throw away.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:19 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good drinking game; watch Wheel of Fortune and do a shot for every time they applause.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's this I hear about some 19 year old girl getting Justin Bieber pregnant?
←Rate | 11-02-2011 15:12 by Felesar Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would enjoy my trip to the dentist's more if I could figure out why it is necessary to remove my pants for a checkup.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it weird after having a McRib I'm craving watermelon and Red Kool-Aid!?!
←Rate | 11-02-2011 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Son: "Dad, can you write in the dark?" Dad: "Uh, I think so, why?" Son: "I need you to sign my report card."
←Rate | 11-02-2011 13:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If and when you decide to speak super nonsensical philosophy, Make sure you get the grammar right.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 13:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A King without a Queen is still a King.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 13:54 Comments (0)  



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