Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I have a six pack. yep. six pack of crayons

   free food stamps 252-366-4998 and BBW call me now

   Sometimes when you watch Jersey Shore or Keeping Up With the Kardshians, you can feel your brain cells dying.

   ____&_____ <----- This totally looks like a person scooting there as$ on the floor..lol

   So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $10. Guess who got his car washed?

   Girl:i"d French kiss you. Guy: I'd Australian kiss you Girl: What's that? Guy: A french kiss only down under ;)

   Most surprising thing about yesterday's 16-hour NBA talks: It was only 2 hours of talks, and 14 hours of "Y'all Ready for This?

   I never understood why people take pictures of themselves flipping the bird. Was the camera mean to you?

   there are two ways to destroy a friendship between two girls. a boy and a rumour.

   Ladies need to learn how to moan during sex, some of you women be sounding like wrestlers

   Dear stalker, seriously dude...I have a whole box of KOTEX in my drawer...I have TAMPONS & PADS WITH WINGS. Pick ur poison!

   I'm not a Hater. I'm a Cultural Critic. Its a difference.

   Correct me if I am wrong but if your white, is it no longer cool to get beads braided into your pubic hair?

   Thank God for Pancakes and Tang.... They taste the same from when it goes down till you throw it back up!

   A booty call for Star Trek nerd is a Ferengi with Benefits.

   I hear teaching Geography is where it is at these days!

   Am I the only one that thinks Oscar The Grouch looks like a big pile of weed?

   You can't dance with the devil and expect to go home with Jesus

   That feel good feeling when someone walks into your life and you know there going to make an impact on your life :)

   Arm amputees: "Stumped" for cash? Earn a lucritive second income by taking impressive fisting photos.